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'Perfect' Man Cheated On Wife And Mistress - Time To Move On

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: December 9, 2007

Dear Abby: I was the other woman for seven years, involved with a man I thought was perfect. His wife knew about me. It was never an issue until he fell in love with me. After that, things changed. He began making promises and told me as soon as his wife got herself together and found a job and a place to live, he would divorce her and be with me forever.

Two years became three, three became five. Finally I realized he would never do what he promised, so I ended it. The problem is, he's my boss. He was my best friend, and I still had some hope. We see each other every day because of work, although I am considered an independent contractor.

A year after I called it quits, he finally filed for divorce. A few months later, he met this new woman. He says he loves her, but I still hurt. Every day is another day of holding back my tears, another day to hide my pain.

Today I met a woman who is a member of a group I belong to. She mentioned she knows a man who would be "perfect" for me. She said they had dated a few times over the years. Abby, the number she gave me was his. While we were together, he was seeing this other woman! I am devastated.

I am still in love with him. How can I make myself forget him when we still work together? Please advise. - Weeping in Chico, Calif.

Dear Weeping: Forget him? People only learn from the mistakes they are willing to remember. Dry your tears and get out of that office NOW. As an "independent contractor," it's time to declare your independence. Finding a job with better benefits should be a breeze, considering that all you have to show for this one is heartache.

Dear Abby: I was hired about a month ago at a biotech firm as a logistics coordinator, basically doing a little of everything - shipping, arranging travel, etc. I put a lot of hard work into every assignment I was given and, as a result, was moved into the marketing department last week and given a more defined position with a greater workload. My title is "marketing coordinator."

When I had more time, I didn't mind covering the occasional shift for the receptionist when needed. But now I am asked to do it on a nearly daily basis, sometimes with little or no notice. I politely informed the receptionist that I had more work to do now and could not always cover, and she drew up a schedule that has me covering one hour a week.

The beef I have is that no other new hires are being asked to cover. I feel I'm being taken advantage of because I am young and female, and if I don't put my foot down now, early in my career, I'll be continually taken advantage of. What is your advice? - Go-fer in Raleigh, N.C.

Dear Go-Fer: If you haven't already received one, approach your supervisor and ask for a written job description for your new position. If fill-in receptionist is not one of your duties, it is possible that the receptionist went beyond her authority in assigning the shift to you.

Write Dear Abby at www.Dear Abby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles CA 90069.

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