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Spend Some Time On Your Money Issues

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: December 9, 2007

As any therapist will tell you, conflicts about money are usually not about money. They're about you - or rather "your issues."

So for my final Color of Money Book Club selection this year, I'm offering a pick that isn't just about money. Why not take a break from the commercial hustle of the season and sit down with a book that may make you face why you're a spendthrift, or why "budget" is a cuss word for you? Or, maybe you need to let go of the fears that make you a miser.

Befitting the holiday season, the book club selection for December is "The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge: 5 Principles to Transform Your Relationship With Money" (Health Communications Inc., $14.95) by Ted Klontz, Rick Kahler, and Brad Klontz.

Don't Be Put Off By Title

Ted Klontz is a certified therapist based in Nashville and president of Onsite Workshops, an organization that helps people heal from painful behaviors and relationships. Brad Klontz, Ted's son, is a licensed clinical psychologist and president of Coastal Clinics based in Kapaa, Hawaii.

Rick Kahler is a certified financial planner and president of Kahler Financial Group based in Rapid City, S.D. Kahler works with certified counselors and therapists through his private practice, offering financial coaching.

Now don't do what I did when I first picked up this book. I dismissed it simply because of the title. I thought the concept was contrived. But I was prompted to take another look because of my own frustrations with people who repeatedly make the same bad financial choices.

Soon, I found myself enthusiastically underlining and dog-earing page after page.

I double-starred this quote: "You will soon come to understand that the amount of money you have or make is irrelevant."

The authors effectively use the transformation of Scrooge in Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" to make their point that "it's your relationship with money that is key." Scrooge makes a good case study, as does Bob Cratchit.

"There are millions of modern-day examples of people who, like Scrooge and Cratchit, are imprisoned by self-defeating money behaviors," the authors write.

Write Your 'Money Script'

They use their financial planning and counseling background to get you to figure out your "money script," which they call self-limiting beliefs about money that drive our financial behaviors.

"Very early in life, people begin to internalize messages about money's purpose - how it works, what it promises, its overall significance - and develop their relationships to it," the authors note.

So what are the five transforming principles?

Principle 1: Denial inhibits change. You have to recognize a problem to begin solving it.

Principle 2: To heal, you must feel. If you've got a self-destructive financial behavior, it's probably tied to some trauma or neglect in your past, says Ted Klontz.

Principle 3: It pays to be present. By this, the authors mean you have to get rid of the distorted views of money from your past and live in the present reality of your financial situation.

Principle 4: Awareness of consequences creates motivation. Scrooge changed when he realized what his future would be if he continued his miserly ways.

Principle 5: Transformation requires action.

Want to change your money script? Get this book. You won't be able to do better with your money if you don't recognize the issues that block you.

For a chance to win a copy of "The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge," send an e-mail to colorofmoney@washpost.com. Please include your name and an address so we can send you a book if you win.

Michelle Singletary can be reached at The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. N.W., Washington DC 20071.

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