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Pig, Phooey: Petrino's Act Was Cowardly, Classless

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: December 13, 2007

TAMPA - It's fitting that Bobby Petrino is moving to Arkansas.

He's a total pig.

Nick Saban looks upstanding next to this weasel.

I know all the snakes out there feel left out.

We'll get to you.

Bobby "My word is like oak" Petrino is a regular one-man menagerie.

We came to One Buc Place on Wednesday morning to hear the Atlanta Falcons head coach on a conference call, only there wasn't one. A head coach of the Atlanta Falcons, that is.

After 13 games, 10 of them losses, Petrino abandoned his sinking ship. Picture the captain of the Titanic rowing away. Then picture him rowing to Fayetteville and chanting "Woo Pig Sooie" at a midnight news conference.

Falcons owner Arthur Blank, who should have known better before hiring Petrino, was gloriously talkative at a news conference Wednesday that lasted longer than Petrino's NFL head coaching career. Joining him was Atlanta general manager Rich "You know, looking back, Jon wasn't such a bad guy" McKay.

"My issue is timing," Blank said. "My issue is responsibility. My issue is commitment."

Beware of Flying Pigs.

A Coward's Way To Go

Maybe Petrino didn't like Atlanta's record, or the idea of visiting the big house, carrying a cake for Michael Vick with a playbook hidden inside.

But how are the Falcons feeling this morning?

"The way to go out, before season's end, is a coward's way to go," said Falcons running back Warrick Dunn, who helps single mothers into homes in the name of charity while Petrino sells his soul, or what's left of it.

Bucs receiver Joey Galloway was asked what he would do if his coach quit at 3-10.

"I would kill him," Galloway said.

Bobby, we hardly knew ye.

Actually, we knew ye well. Ye are simply one of those men without conscience who does what he pleases even while preaching to your players, college or pro, about commitment and finishing what you start.

"He sold us a dream," Dunn said.

That's one side of his mouth. The other side said he had no intention of leaving the Falcons (he shook on it with Blank as late as Monday), just like he had no intention of leaving Louisville, just as he'll now have no intention of leaving Arkansas.

The Petrino who signed a 5-year, $24 million deal in January to coach the Falcons is the same Petrino who in 2006 signed a 10-year, $25 million extension at Louisville, the same Petrino who interviewed with Auburn, Notre Dame and the Raiders, who has applied for every job but prime minister of Iraq (though Iraq boosters sent a plane) and who'll now talk to Arkansas players about ... accountability.

Dunn watched the Petrino news conference in Fayetteville on TV. He watched Petrino do "Pig Sooie" surrounded by Razorbacks cheerleaders.

"Classless," Dunn said. "Classless."

Pig Phooey.

Arkansas Should Be Worried

Bucs cornerback Ronde Barber shook his head over The Great Liar.

"Lots of times you want to quit when things go bad, but we can't," Barber said. "Some of us do mentally, but this ... I don't see him walking away with any pride. They're down, and he kicked them."

Want to know the sad thing? Emmitt Thomas, a man of honor, is finally a head coach. A Hall of Fame nominee this season, Atlanta's defensive backs coach was named interim head coach.

Thomas has spent 28 years coaching in this league. He should have been an NFL head coach long ago, and might have been if not for the color of his skin. He's now 64, with no real chance, or desire, to stay a head coach.

But Bobby Petrino, he's in his prime.

"Arkansas should be worried," Warrick Dunn said. "Any family and any kid he recruits should be worried."

He'll be loved in Arkansas if he wins, and there will be another job if he leaves, as if there's any if to it.

Warrick Dunn, a great runner, a great giver, is an honest man. He believes in accountability. He likes to look someone in the eye. He recently visited a Louisiana prison to meet with one of the Death Row inmates convicted of killing Dunn's mother 14 years ago.

He looked the man in the eye. It wasn't easy.

Suitcase Bobby Petrino didn't meet with anyone. He left the same letter in every locker at the Falcons' facility.

"With a stamped signature," Dunn said.

And another thing ...

"It was improper English, or grammar, I think."

Hey, the guy was in a hurry.

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