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By MICK ELLIOTT, The Tampa Tribune

Published: December 16, 2007

Thinking out loud until it started to hurt ...

What's worse, Bobby Petrino, a quitter, walking out on the Atlanta Falcons with three games to go, or Isiah Thomas, a lying loser, still coaching the New York Knicks? ...

Tough week for Falcons boss Arthur Blank. Before Petrino's desertion, former quarterback Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months in prison and the owner sparked charges of racism by voicing hope that the imprisoned dog abuser would not grow overweight by eating too much fried chicken. What, he was supposed to suggest Vick lay off the Dover sole almondine while behind bars? ...

Think of it this way: After Vick has served a prison term equal to Petrino's coaching career with the Falcons, he still will be looking at another year. ...

This comment just in from Nick Saban: "What's the big deal?" ...

After guaranteeing a Pittsburgh victory against New England, Steelers safety Anthony Smith was repeatedly burned on the way to his team's 34-13 beating. In Smith's defense, at least he didn't quit after three quarters. ...

Seven-time Cy Young winner Roger Clemens reacted strongly to the Mitchell Report that links the pitcher to steroid use, calling it an increasingly desperate effort by the Hillary Clinton campaign to reverse her slow slide in the polls. ...

Top five Bud Selig solutions to the MLB steroid problem:

5. Approve teams to order larger caps.

4. "Injected into the buttocks" strictly prohibited without express written consent of Major League Baseball.

3. Assemble a Las Vegas crew to take back baseball records set since 1998.

2. "Bartender, another shot of flaxseed oil."

1. Free team fleece for any player turning in hypodermic needle. ...

Duke football started its coaching search hoping to attract candidates by listing the job vacancy on the university's human resources Web site. Right above an ad for a nursing assistant was the posting for "Head Football Coach." Is it just me, or is anybody else thinking of that Super Bowl television commercial with all the monkeys? ...

A 64-year-old German man was treated for alcohol poisoning after quaffing two pints of vodka at a Berlin airport security check instead of handing it over to comply with carry-on rules. Do you know what that's called in America? A Florida-Georgia game ticket-holder. ...

After more than one million votes were cast, AskMen.com reports soccer star David Beckham is the world's Manliest Man of 2007. Mild surprise at No.2: Any guy willing to go hunting with Bobby Knight. ...

Responding to annoying comments made on ESPN by Keyshawn Johnson, Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens dismissed the former Buccaneer by saying, "Nobody would even know he won the Super Bowl unless you checked the roster." That's not true. Keyshawn will tell them. ...

Hoping to bring itself attention, an online dating service managed to plant a female "reporter" in a Tiger Woods news conference for this week's Target World Challenge in Southern California. When called on for a question, the blond woman with a British accent asked Woods if he thought "my boyfriend is gay because he screams out your name during sex?" In an impressive show of concentration, Woods displayed no visual reaction to the prank, dismissing it like, well, Rory Sabbatini closing within five. ...

Hillsborough Country will soon open the new "George Steinbrenner High School." What do you think? The Fightin' Bosses? ...

More than four decades after finishing his college playing career, football great Joe Namath on Saturday received his bachelor of arts degree from the University of Alabama. Suzy Kolber just wanted to send him a congratulations card.

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