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Kaufman column: Parcells Will Make Quick Impact With Dolphins

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By IRA KAUFMAN | The Tampa Tribune

Published: December 23, 2007

TAMPA - Once again, we're reminded how many business transactions are executed along the cart path.

Bill Parcells and Wayne Huizenga, those old golfing buddies, are heading to the back nine together in Miami.

Fore!

Once Wayne assured Bill he wasn't selling the Dolphins, the Big Tuna wriggled off Arthur Blank's hook and jumped into Biscayne Bay.

Blank aimed high and missed, and now Atlanta's impatient owner realizes how cavalierly Parcells treated Hugh Culverhouse and the Glazers when he backed out of agreements in principle.

By now, we realize Parcells is governed by a lone principle: How do I maximize my leverage, even if it means betraying my word?

Don't fret, Dolphin fans - things will work out for Huizenga, at least in the short run.

Parcells boasts Hall of Fame credentials as a talent evaluator and he'll leave the Dolphins in better shape than he found them.

The Giants, Patriots, Jets and Cowboys all improved under his stern command, and Parcells can never be accused of going through the motions just to pick up a paycheck.

When he's in, he's in.

"This is one of the most competitive businesses there is," he once told Mike Wallace on a "60 Minutes" segment.

"It's my life. It's how I'm measured."

In hiring Parcells, Huizenga drained his putt while Blank misread all that green.

Now the Falcons resume the search for a head of football operations and a new coach, while lame-duck GM Rich McKay seeks an exit strategy.

McKay made his share of mistakes in Atlanta, but he deserved better than what Blank gave him last week - a one-sentence sendoff that made it clear he was a dead executive walking.

Unlike Blank, McKay refuses to be rushed into action. He'll remain in Atlanta until he finds a job to his liking elsewhere.

While the Dolphins need a shakeup, the Falcons crave stability.

Atlanta players and a dwindling fan base don't need a splash hire in the front office. Blank needs to take his time and get someone dedicated to seeing a rebuilding job through to the end.

After mercurial Jim Mora and deceitful Bobby Petrino, the next coach needs to restore credibility to a franchise in dire need of the kind of refurbishing job Blank's employees specialized in when he built The Home Depot into a retail giant.

If those Marty Schottenheimer rumors in Atlanta are correct, Blank could do a lot worse.

Parcells doesn't have much to work with in Miami, but he knows what a winning football player looks like.

He'll overhaul the roster and find out quickly whether veterans like Jason Taylor and Zach Thomas want to accompany him for the bumpy ride toward respectability.

His in-your-face approach isn't for everyone, but Parcells won't stop acting like a drill sergeant until Miami's locker room is stocked with guys who know how to win.

The loyalty this nomad engenders is remarkable.

Parcells dumped Keyshawn Johnson to the Bucs in a 2000 trade, but Johnson still swears by the NFL's version of Larry Brown.

Both Brown and Parcells never met a franchise they couldn't exploit for a better gig.

At times, Parcells treated Phil Simms like a lackey in New York, but the former Giants quarterback retains great respect for the man who would be king in Miami.

A few years back, I asked Parcells if there was a current NFL coach who reminded him of himself in style and demeanor.

"I don't know Jon Gruden very well," Parcells said in the summer of 2002, "but I do know he has a lot of passion for the game.

"He reminds me a lot of myself at that age."

Gruden would shortly turn 39 that August and lead the Bucs to an NFL championship, while Parcells was about to turn 61 when he singled Gruden out for sharing in his eternal football flame.

Parcells simply can't find the same juice from his ESPN job, so he's stepping back into the arena.

And like ol' blue eyes, he did it his way.

Wayne's World will never be the same.

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