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Keeping Your Cool In The Face Of Homework

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By AMY ELLINOR

Published: November 1, 2007

My kindergartner has started to bring home homework.

It's nothing big. We review vocabulary words or have her count some things around the house. What is difficult, however, is remembering to do it. One of us will inevitably remember the homework, usually right before bedtime or when she has to get in the car. From there it looks a lot like a Three Stooges routine. She counts windows, my husband tells her to get in the car, and I root for her to go, go, go, like I'm at a horse race.

My friends with older children warn me that it only gets worse. Assignments that take more than two hours, fierce homework battles and shameful parent-teacher conferences are just some examples. When I think of all the running around, dramatic sighs and arm-flailing that went down because we just plain forgot, I wonder how we'll tackle the real homework struggles that may arise.

Merrie Tankersley, professor of education and director of interns in the education department at The University of Tampa, says that while homework can be stressful, there are ways for parents to keep their cool. Here are some strategies she finds effective in handling homework in the primary grades.

Tankersley's tips:

Remember that homework is the child's responsibility, not the parent's. Try not to micromanage (at any age). Help the child get organized and find a quiet place (with minimal distractions)to do homework. Be available to assist, but do not hover.

Some students need some free time to replenish their energy after school before they begin their homework. Other children do better having a snack and getting right to work. Try it both ways and ascertain what works best for your child. When you discover what works best, create a routine.

Students who have trouble focusing, or those who need a great deal of prodding, might do better if you divide the work. For example, complete problems 1 to 10 now, and then have them do 11 to 20 at a later time. Using a timer also helps some students stay on task for an allotted amount of time. These students also do well with checklists. List the things they have to do, and then allow them to cross off each item as they complete it.

Contrary to popular belief, parents should check the homework and help students correct any mistakes. It is difficult for teachers to find the time to individually review each homework page with every student in the class. It is much more effective if the parent gives the student immediate feedback.

If you helped your child with a concept and you realize that she wouldn't have been able to complete a majority of it without your help, be sure to write a note to the teacher that says something like, "I assisted my child with this assignment, and I don't feel she would have been able to complete this on her own." That way the teacher will know that you helped do the work, but your child really didn't understand it.

If you have a particularly stubborn child who resists any constructive criticism from you, send a note letting the teacher know that the child struggles with homework and does not accept help from you.

Finally, each night, prepare for the next morning. Have the student (not the parent) place homework in his homework folder and then in his backpack. Check his backpack each evening, and, if necessary, help reorganize it for the next day.

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