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Party City Lifestyles Fail To Offer Any Real Happiness

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: November 3, 2007

It's heartwarming to read good news about our fair city.

In a time defined by plunging housing markets, fiscal uncertainty, a growing homeless population and infighting among our politicians, readers will be pleased to note that Tampa at least has been recognized as a great place to party.

"Maxim Magazine Ranks Tampa No. 6 On Party City List," a Tribune headline proclaimed last week.

Before we rush to the phones to spread the word, it might be a good idea to talk about what factors attracted the attention of those denizens of good taste at Maxim.

The men's lifestyle magazine cited such factors as divorce rate, beer consumption, gaming and condom sales. The article, appearing in November's issue, touts "the city's 49 strip clubs."

Lovely. Makes you feel warm and fuzzy all over, doesn't it?

I want to go a little deeper and address issues that go beyond debating the contention that free speech has anything to do with women dancing naked onstage.

We live in a culture in which ideas like "fun," "party," "entertainment" and "good time" are assigned bogus definitions that fail to hold up in practice. Industries are built around perpetuating the lies. These lies are necessary to continue funneling thousands of people and millions of dollars into behavior and lifestyle choices that fuel the cycle.

That's why magazines such as Maxim publish lists. That's why television attaches labels of "glamorous," "cool" and "fun" to destructive choices and excessive drinking. That's why sex outside of marriage is associated with "satisfaction" in movies. That's why advertising targets our most primal urges and pairs them with expensive products.

Americans have been conditioned since birth to move heaven and earth in order to achieve "satisfaction" and experience "a good time." The game amounts to a classic bait-and-switch. The choices most "lifestyle" magazines recommend do not lead to satisfaction, happiness or peace of mind. Yet the entertainment world spends billions of dollars hitting Americans over the head with the message that they do, and we fall right into the trap: gambling, pornography, excessive drinking, stretched credit, cheating, violence.

I can't begin to tell you how many people I have talked with who are miserable, overwhelmed and desperate because they continue to buy the lie.

Let me share a story of joy. June 23, the day my daughter, Naomi, married Craig, several hundred people partied late into the night. The entertainment was a mixture of music, stories, dancing, shared faith and great food. There was laughter, and there were tears.

The place rocked and everyone had a good time, more fun than we could have hoped for. Toward the end of the festivities, while packing away his equipment, the disc jockey told us he had had more fun at the wedding than he could ever remember.

"Funny," he said, "because no one got drunk and there wasn't any booze to be had."

There was no gambling, no sleaze and no one went home with anyone else's wife. There was no fighting, no foul language, and no one had to call his spouse and make up a lie to explain where he was.

Recently, I posed the following to a man: "You're putting a lot of effort into the lifestyle choices you're making. You spend quite a bit of money, you wake up with some major headaches, you expose yourself to hours of pornography and you've all but destroyed your marriage. Tell me the truth: Are you happy?"

I'm all for freedom of expression, freedom of choice, civil liberties, etc. But come on, people, we have to stop with the lies! Why do we watch the shows, pay for the movies, advertise in the magazines and shop as if the commercials we watch on television are telling us the truth?

Somebody needs to run a headline that reads: "Christians Party Hearty In Tampa/Fun-loving people count their blessings and live the good life."

Can I yell the truth loudly enough? Can I possibly live with any more genuine joy?

Columnist Derek Maul can be reached at derekmaul@gmail.com.

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