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Throwdown: Bucs vs. Falcons

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TBO.com

Published: November 15, 2007

Each week during the season, The Tampa Tribune will challenge a columnist from the Bucs' opposing city to a Throwdown, to determine the superior city - and which team will come out ahead. This week's Throwdown features the Tribune's Joe Henderson against Jay Adams of The Macon Telegraph. (Who's the winner? Be sure to vote, and to comment below).

Bucs: No Getting Around This Mess

Joe Henderson, The Tampa Tribune

Don't go getting any ideas, Atlanta, just because Georgia finally beat Florida.

Your Falcons are still bad. Your stadium is still a warehouse with plastic grass. Commuting is still a nightmare in your town.

And our felons don't commit crimes against Fido.

About the only place where you beat Tampa is traffic congestion which, trust me, is saying something. Tell me, is Pascual Perez still stuck on I-285?

Yes, welcome to the ''Throwdown'' segment of our show, the part where we make relentless fun of the opposing city and their football team, because otherwise we don't get paid this week.

So let's do a ''Tale of the Tape'' between Atlanta and Tampa, shall we?

QUARTERBACK: Jeff Garcia of the Bucs is married to a former Playboy centerfold and ranks 6th in the NFL among passers – in front of guys like Carson Palmer and Peyton Manning. Joey Harrington, your guy, couldn't cut it in Miami. Miami! EDGE: Tampa.

RUNNING BACK: Earnest Graham has been in the league four years and never started a game until four games into this season, after Cadillac Williams got hurt. But he already has more touchdowns (four) than Warrick Dunn (three), who the Bucs didn't even try to sign when your owner overpaid for him. Plus, Earnest is a former Gator who never lost to Georgia. EDGE: Tampa.

HEAD COACH: Chucky won a Super Bowl and has a really cool scowl. Bobby Petrino conspired with the president and athletic director at Auburn to take Tommy Tuberville's job. Tuberville is still there, by the way. EDGE: Tampa.

AIRPORT: Tampa International routinely ranks among the finest airports in the world in passenger and industry surveys. Atlanta-Hartsfield is bloated nightmare. It can take longer to taxi from the runway to the gate than it does to fly from Tampa to Atlanta. Plus, although we can't confirm this, we think Pascual Perez is wandering the concourses in search of the 10:30 Delta nonstop to Little Rock. BIG EDGE: Tampa.

NOTABLE CIVIC ACHIEVEMENTS: Atlanta was once burned to the ground and hosted an Olympics that was universally panned for transportation snafus. Tampa gets invaded each year by drunken pirates and was turned down in a bid to host the 2012 Olympics. EDGE: Tampa, because Pascual Perez is still stuck in Marietta on one of the Olympic buses.

SUPER BOWL EXPERIENCES: Tampa was the site of some of the Super Bowl's most memorable moments: Scott Norwood's ''missed it by that much'' kick, Whitney Houston's stirring national anthem, Marcus Allen's immortal touchdown run, Trent Dilfer ... uh, never mind. You guys had a good game when you hosted, but you needed that so people would forget that the weather that week was icy and downright miserable. EDGE: Not even close.

AND THE WINNER IS ... : Duh! Bucs romp, 24-7.

Falcons: Living In The Moment

Jay Adams, The Macon Telegraph

If there's one thing we love in Atlanta, it's our waffles.

We like 'em piled high. We like 'em smothered and covered. We like 'em in the all-you-can-handle variety.

Who's the better quarterback, Joey Harrington or Byron Leftwich? Eh, we're not sure.

Is Bobby Petrino the right guy to be head coach of the Atlanta Falcons? Um, we'll get back to you on it.

Is there any way to save the season? Well, we'll check into it, but we're not ready to commit to anything at this point.

Is Michael Vick really innocent or is he undeniably guilty? The jury's still out.

Yep, we love waffling almost as much as we love the Falcons.

But there are two things we are absolutely dead-set certain of:

1. We're running out of water.

2. The Atlanta Falcons can and will beat the NFC South-leading Tampa Bay Buccaneers come Sunday.

What makes us so confident? We're concerned about the here and now, not all that other stuff.

We could think about the Falcons' 1-6 start. We could think about losing our franchise quarterback to a stupid, idiotic, immature, ill-advised business venture - but we're not bitter. We could think about all the oh, so close games the Falcons gift-wrapped, tied a bow on and gave away in September and October.

But we don't. And we don't want to. (Plus, we can't. The jet fumes from Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport wreak havoc on long-term memory).

We're living in the moment, baby.

We're thinking about two straight wins since the bye week. We're focused on the resurgence of running back Warrick Dunn - you remember him, right? - and the suddenly newfound ground game. We're ready to be one game out of first place in the division by pulling out a win Sunday.

But what we've paid the most attention to is the heart, determination, grit and, well, desperation the Falcons have played with recently. And the city of Atlanta will start to follow suit with those characteristics, especially after that lesser-known blackout that had less to do with going to a stadium in Georgia wearing the color and more to do with being stuck at home watching SpongeBob reruns with the kids at 1 p.m. on a recent Sunday.

We're starting to come around because we've got pride in Atlanta, gosh darn it.

We're home to the world's busiest airport. We have the world's largest aquarium. We're known by three letters; we can do without the A-N-T-A, because A-T-L suits us just fine, and it's way cooler to say. We have our own stomp, people in Wisconsin know what ''A-town down'' means and we even hosted the Olympics, for crying out loud.

And now the Falcons are picking up steam.

So go ahead and dangle your ample supply of running water in our faces and watch us get jealous. Tell us we have an NBA team in town and listen to us deny it. Give us a random topic and we'll plate it up and drown it in syrup.

Just don't tell us the Falcons are losing come Sunday. We're not buying it.

Atlanta 20, Tampa Bay 17.

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