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Merry Melodies

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Tribune staff reviews

Published: November 23, 2007

NICE

DARLENE LOVE: IT'S CHRISTMAS, OF COURSE (SHOUT! FACTORY) 2 stars

Darlene Love sang "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)," the best song on the best Christmas album ever, producer Phil Spector's "A Christmas Gift for You." That track record doesn't do this album any favors. But Love is in fine voice and makes the most of mediocre tunes by The Pretenders, Tom Petty and Billy Squier. (CR)

KT TUNSTALL: HAVE YOURSELF A VERY KT CHRISTMAS (EMI) 2 stars

Tunstall's got a breezy musical style tailor-made for selling Gap jeans and iPods. This disc was a fun listen — the toy piano on "Sleigh Ride" was a cheeky touch — but with only six songs it left me wanting more. (JH)

PATTI LABELLE: MISS PATTI'S CHRISTMAS (DEF SOUL CLASSICS) 3 stars

Patti LaBelle belts out songs both secular and spiritual in a voice as big as the sea. While LaBelle moves your soul, producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis sprinkle in contemporary beats that will move your feet. (MS)

BARRY MANILOW: IN THE SWING OF CHRISTMAS (HALLMARK) 2 Stars

Skip the first track — "Silver Bells," which sounds as if Barry is trying to imitate the Manhattan Transfer — and it's decent holiday fare. (KM)

THE STAPLE SINGERS: THE 25TH DAY OF DECEMBER (STAX) 3 and a half

A reissue of the 1962 album — it's the Staples singing gospel. What more do you need to know? (CR)

RAUL MALO: MARSHMALLOW WORLD AND OTHER HOLIDAY FAVORITES (UNIVERSAL) 3 stars

Nothing is going to make "Jingle Bells" interesting to anyone over the age of 6, not even the rich baritone of Raul Malo. But he's good on standards such as "White Christmas" and "Blue Christmas," and great on the sad ones, like "Not So Merry Christmas." (KW)

RANDY TRAVIS: SONGS OF THE SEASON (WORD ENTERTAINMENT) 3 stars

Travis could sing the phone book and make it warm and intimate and powerful. When he turns his baritone on these holiday tunes, he elevates the standards and makes the handful of original songs into something special. (JH)

DIONNE WARWICK: MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR (RHINO) 4 stars

Hark! The herald angels sing? Warwick's voice is as close as you'll get on earth. This disc is as warm and fuzzy as a pair of Isotoner mittens. Smooth jazz haters might want to walk on by. (RB)

KIMBERLEY LOCKE: CHRISTMAS (CURB) 2 stars

She was eliminated from "American Idol" and booted off "Celebrity Fit Club." But, this Tennessee native can hold a tune, even with Christmas songs. She remains on point with such holiday staples as "Jingle Bells," but gets in a tad over her head with "Ave Maria." (SH)

MIKE BAIARDI: ROCKABYE BABY! LULLLABY RENDITIONS OF CHRISTMAS ROCK CLASSICS (BABY ROCK) 2 stars

Send the little ones off to dream with visions of sugarplums and etc. with soporific versions of tunes by Sufjan Stevens, The Waitresses and the like. (CR)

TOBY KEITH: CLASSIC CHRISTMAS (SHOW DOG NASHVILLE) 3 stars

A lot of country artists just mail it in when it comes to holiday albums. Keith produced a double-disc, 20-song collection with co-producer Randy Scruggs that is alternately fun and solemn — it is Christmas, after all — but it also displays some hooky country arrangements for Keith to sing around. (JH)

ANDREW T. MILLER: THE BIRTH OF CHRIST (SONY CLASSICAL) 2 and a half

Narrator Liam Neeson's introduction seems to set up Miller's cantata as the successor to Handel's "Messiah." That may be a bit lofty but "The Birth of Christ" is a lovely and reverent retelling of the Nativity. (CR)

THE ISLEY BROTHERS: I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS (DEF SOUL CLASSICS) 3 stars

Wanna stoke the romantic fires on a cold winter's night? Put on this collection of smooth holiday classics and throw a yule log in the hearth. (MS)

JOSH GROBAN: NOEL (REPRISE) 3 stars

I didn't expect to like this, but I did — especially "Ave Maria." The messages from soldiers in Iraq throughout "I'll Be Home for Christmas" also were touching. Yeah, I'm a sap. (KM)

CARNIE WILSON: CHRISTMAS WITH CARNIE (BIG 3)

Amid all the easy fat jokes and tabloid talk-show hubbub, did anyone notice that Brian's not-so-little girl has a damn good singing voice? She puts it to fine use on this collection of holiday classics, traditionally arranged so as not to sound out of place in a theme park or shopping mall. A tad generic, maybe, but we expected so much worse. (RJ)

VICKIE WINANS: HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM VICKIE WINANS (DESTINY JOY) 3 stars

Three words come to mind after listening to this disc: "Christmas with soul." The Grammy-nominated gospel artist puts entirely new spins on most of the classics here, gift-wrapping them with rhythmic beats, evangelical flavors and glorious vocal runs. (JH)

PAM TILLIS: JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS (STELLAR CAT) 3 stars

A rarity — a Christmas album made with thought and care. Tillis' versatile voice sits comfortably atop a pleasing mix of familiar and less-so material with arrangements ranging from country-folk to jazz. (CR)

DARRYL HALL AND JOHN OATES: HOME FOR CHRISTMAS (U-WATCH/DKE) 3 stars

Deck the Halls — and the Oates! The slow, romantic numbers are great for a little one-on-one time after the children are nestled all snug in their beds and the classic twang-fest, "Jingle Bell Rock," could make any Sara — or Santa — smile. (RB)

JIM BRICKMAN: HOMECOMING (SLG) 3 Stars

Exceptional piano playing, average carol singing. Not a bad CD to put into the carousel if you need holiday mood music while eating your Christmas feast. (KM)

VARIOUS ARTISTS: HEAR SOMETHING COUNTRY/CHRISTMAS 2007 (SONY BMG NASHVILLE) 2 stars

Think of this as a tree full of country music ornaments, with Brad Paisley, Kenny Chesney, Brooks & Dunn and Carrie Underwood contributing tunes. Even Johnny Cash shows up for posthumous inclusion with a stirring rendition of "Silent Night." (JH)

NAUGHTY

YO YO YO KIDS: YO, IT'S CHRISTMAS (KIDZ BOP)

The cover art — a cartoon snowman blinged-out with a gold snowflake and a sideways ball cap — tells you what's in store: every conceivable hip-hop cliché crammed into 12 squeaky-clean holiday songs, . (And three skits, because it wouldn't be a proper rap album without insipid between-song skits, would it?) It's split evenly between impossibly bland originals (they should've called it "Vanilla Ice") and faux-urban takes on the classics. But who knows? Small children and easily amused simpletons may delight in a "Deck the Halls" that goes "Don we now our fly apparel. … Go Jesus! It's your birfday! Go Jesus! It's your birfday!" (RJ)

JON SECADA: A CHRISTMAS FIESTA (BIG 3) 1 star

What you'd hear during the holidays at a Tropical-themed chain restaurant — in hell. "Mom! Jon Secada ruined Christmas!" (CR)

CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE: THE SECRET OF CHRISTMAS (RETROACTIVE ENTERTAINMENT) 1 star

Love kept them together. Unfortunately, it didn't keep them out of the recording studio. If you can make it past track 3, "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas," you deserve to sing vocals on their next effort. (MS)

MARTINA MCBRIDE: WHITE CHRISTMAS (SONY BMG NASHVILLE) 1 star

Should have named this one "Bland Christmas." Yes, her vocals are up to her usual impeccable level, but there's no emotion in their delivery. You keep wondering, "Has this woman ever enjoyed Christmas?" (JH)

VARIOUS ARTISTS: LOVE'S HOLIDAY: A GOSPEL CHRISTMAS (TIME LIFE) Stars: 1

There is some perverse Christmas joy in owning a CD that brings together Alicia Keys, SWV and Luther Vandross. And Mary Mary's mildly Stevie Wonder-esque version of "'Tis the Season" is a highlight. There's not much point to this, otherwise. (GP)

LARRY THE CABLE GUY: CHRISTMASTIME IN LARRYLAND (WEA/REPRISE)

Politically, socially and morally incorrect on so many levels, Larry the Cable Guy's comedy Christmas album reaches the zenith of redneck humor with "Farting Jingle Bells." And don't even ask what he does with the "Nutcracker." A little of Larry goes a long way. A lot of Larry goes too far. (WB)

VARIOUS ARTISTS: MONSTER BALLADS XMAS (RAZOR & TIE) 1 and a half

Alternate title: "Hair Metal Holiday." It's as hilariously bad as you'd hope, but only Enuff Z'Nuff's "Happy Holiday" is actually listenable. (CR)

KIDZ BOP KIDS: THE COOLEST KIDZ BOP CHRISTMAS EVER! (KIDZ BOP) 1 star

This disc has all the holiday magic of a helium OD in a karaoke bar. If you have earmuffs thick enough, your younger kids might dig it. I'd stick to the classic versions that are looping in department stores all month. For free. (RB)

THE DAN BAND: HO: A DAN BAND CHRISTMAS COLORING BOOK (REINCARNATE) 1 star

Every year somebody takes a run at making a Christmas CD full of smutty lyrics and sacrilege. Sometimes it's hilarious, as in the case of the South Park Christmas CD a few years ago. And sometimes it is borderline pathetic, like this attempt by the Dan Band. (JH)

CONWAY TWITTY: A TWISMAS STORY WITH TWITTY BIRD AND THEIR LITTLE FRIENDS (conwaytwitty.com)

Shame this isn't just the Country Music Hall of Famer wrapping his hearty baritone around the Christmas classics. Instead, he's joined by a gang of obnoxious critters whose headache-inducing squeaks fall somewhere between Alvin and the Chipmunks and a dog whistle. They should've left this 1983 recording in the vaults and let Conway — and us — sleep in heavenly peace. (RJ)

OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN: CHRISTMAS WISH (ONJ) Stars: 1

The only thing this over-sentimentalized, soppy sweet collection is missing is a duet with Jon Secada. Oh, wait — that's on there. Barry Manilow, too. Halfway through this behemoth roster of 22 songs is "Silent Night." And you're thinking: I wish. (GP)

Reviews by Curtis Ross, Jeff Houck, Ryan Bauer, Walt Belcher, Sarah Hoye, Kevin Walker, Marty Strasen, Gretchen Parker, Kim MacCormack, Mitch Schafer and Rommie Johnson .

Calling All Local Bands
Think your band can rock the "Jingle Bells"? Know a local DJ who mixes a really cool version of "Silent Night"? We're looking for local musicians' covers of traditional holiday songs to feature on TBO.com. Please send your family-friendly song in mp3 format to eseawell@tampatrib.com. Include your name or the name of your band, and please include a link to your Web site so we can steer listeners your way. All submissions should be received by Dec. 10.

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