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Get Some: An Interview With Dr. Ruth

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By SUSAN HEMMINGWAY

Published: November 30, 2007

Long before there was Dr. Phil, there was Dr. Ruth. In the 1980s, the tiny woman with the grandmotherly guise became a celebrity guru and the nation's sex therapist on radio and television.

Dr. Ruth — real name Ruth Westheimer and now age 79 — still delivers frank sex advice on subjects such as erections, orgasms and masturbation. She still loves what she does, including reaching a new generation of college students through "Sex Cred with Dr. Ruth" on MTVu, which broadcasts to college campuses and online.

Recently, she was in Tampa as the guest speaker at the annual gala of the West Central Florida Area Agency on Aging. After a long evening that included a dinner, lecture, cocktail party and book signing, Dr. Ruth sat down for a chat.

Q. Have you changed your mind about any advice you gave in the 1980s?

A. I don't think so, because I've always said people need a relationship for good sex. I think what I certainly have changed is my concern about sexually transmitted diseases. I'm much more concerned now.

Q. Also, when you started out there wasn't cyber porn or cyber sex, and no one looked for partners through Internet dating. How has all of that changed people's sexuality?

A. What has changed is that they know more. I have nothing against people watching sexually explicit movies. I would worry if somebody makes a date in a secluded place by having talked on the Internet. It would be the same as going to a bar and taking somebody home that you don't know. And television has helped people be more knowledgeable (about sex), for example, "Sex in The City." But one has to be careful.

Q. What should a woman know in her 20s?

A. That she has to be the one to teach him what she needs in order to be sexually satisfied. And not to put sex on the back burner … make sure there is time and energy for an active sex life.

Q. In her 50s?

A. An important tip is not to worry too much about what she looks like because she doesn't look like she did when she was 35. She can enjoy that she can be sexually active and sexually arousing. She also has to know that the actual orgasm response isn't as strong as it was before.

Q. What do you see as the top concern of men?

A. They're worried about their erections, and they don't know older men need physical stimulation and don't have (spontaneous) erections when wanting to have sex and thinking about sex …

Q. Do men still have trouble talking about impotence?

A. I don't call it impotence; I call it erectile dysfunction. … Something I want to say is that when a man decides to try Viagra, the wife has to be a part of that decision. So it's not just here's an erection and hop into bed …

Q. Should heterosexuals be concerned about AIDS?

A. Anybody who starts a new relationship — homosexual or heterosexual, it doesn't matter — has to worry about sexually transmitted disease, has to worry about the partners that the other person had before. That is the time they go to the doctor.

Q. You mean to get an AIDS test?

A. Absolutely, especially if a person is sexually very active. And they should go together (and both be tested). It shows they are in a relationship. It's nice if they can go together and there isn't blame, instead of saying, "You go!"

Q. Is "Sex for Dummies" your newest book?

A. No, the original "Sex for Dummies" is 10 years old and it just came out in the third edition, which tells you about the need for sexual knowledge.

Q. So what do dummies need to know?

A. First of all that sex is best in a relationship - the main thing is to be satisfied and to know what your partner needs to be satisfied.

Reporter Susan Hemmingway can be reached at (813) 259-7951 or shemmingway@tampatrib.com.

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