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Championships Easy To Spell Out With Spires

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: October 6, 2007

INDIANAPOLIS - When Tampa Bay plays Indianapolis today, it will be hard to ignore the championship threads running between both teams.

Indianapolis is the defending Super Bowl champion. Tampa Bay won its Super Bowl during the 2002 season. Colts coach Tony Dungy tried to win a championship in Tampa before breaking through with another team. Bucs coach Jon Gruden, hired after Dungy was fired, led Tampa Bay to its championship during his initial season.

Staying with the title theme, I spoke with Bucs left defensive end Greg Spires about championships. Besides owning a Super Bowl ring, he turned out to be one of the funniest Wide Right participants yet.

Anwar: Do you think you can hang with Takeru Kobayashi in a hot dog eating championship?

Greg: No. I eat three hot dogs and I'm full. I eat my hot dogs with pork and beans on it. It's like a pork-and-bean hot dog.

Anwar: What eating contest could you do well in?

Greg: I can play video games. I can get into a spitting contest. I can spit farther than anybody.

Anwar: Who would you insert for one special-teams play - Clay Aiken or Ryan Seacrest?

Greg: Torrie Cox.

Anwar: That's not one of the choices.

Greg: I know, but that's my answer.

Anwar: Who do you think would win a fighting championship between Jackie Chan and Jet Li?

Greg: Jet Li. He looks bigger and stronger.

Anwar: He's not bigger than Jackie. Maybe faster.

Greg: I'm staying with Jet.

Anwar: Do you think it's fair Donald Penn holds the reputation of having the worst body on the team?

Greg: Is it fair? Yeah. It's fair.

Anwar: How long do you think you could last in a spelling bee?

Greg: First round. It depends on how hard it is. I can give you a word right now that you couldn't spell.

Anwar: What word?

Greg: Let me look through the newspaper... um, shoot.

Anwar: S-H-O-O-T ... You know, newspapers are written on a fourth-grade level. You're not going to find anything tough in there.

Greg: I see this. Let me get back to you on that.

Anwar: How long do you think you could last in a bull-riding championship?

Greg: About five seconds. That's a long time.

Anwar: Do you think you're smooth enough to last to the championship round of 'I Love New York' (the VH1 reality television show)?

Greg: No. She New York would probably get rid of me. I'm not wild. I'm not the person she's looking for. I have a totally different attitude. I'm not like that. I won't last long, unless I just wanted to make a fool of myself and play along with it. If I was serious, I wouldn't last.

Anwar: Which two female celebrities should fight, with you as the championship prize?

Greg: Beyonce and Halle Berry.

Anwar: Which one would you give insider tips to on how to beat the other?

Greg: Halle Berry. Beyonce is getting fat right now.

Anwar: Halle Berry is getting old.

Greg: That's all right. She still has that sexy body. I'm getting old, too.

Anwar: Do you think you could beat Tiger Woods in a Putt-Putt championship?

Greg: No.

Anwar: You don't think the clown's mouth gives you an advantage?

Greg: Tiger Woods is the man. Even on Putt-Putt.

Anwar: If you could trade your Super Bowl championship for anything, what would it be?

Greg: To see my grandmother again. That would be the best one. If I could trade my ring for her, I'd do it.

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