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Bourdain On Ruhlman: Some Grooming, Please

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: October 24, 2007

Food writer Michael Ruhlman is a judge on this season's Food Network show 'The Next Iron Chef,' which airs on Sunday nights.

On Ruhlman's blog at Ruhlman.com, guest blogger Anthony Bourdain, who stars on the Travel Channel show 'No Reservations,' wrote this frank assessment last week of the show:

A Flock Of Haircuts

The words of film producer Dino De Laurentiis came to mind when (finally) watching the DVDs of the first two episodes of 'The Next Iron Chef.' Steven Spielberg had just had a megahit with 'Jaws,' and De Laurentiis, announcing his next product, 'Orca, the Killer Whale,' was quoted saying something like, 'They like the shark. So I make a film about the whale. It's bigger!'

I sense the same kind of thinking behind 'NIC.' 'They like 'Top Chef!' They like 'Iron Chef America!' Lets make 'Next Top Iron Chef America!' It's bigger!'

That said, I've scoured both episodes with increasing frustration, trying to find something bad to say. And the best I can come up with is that Ruhlman's hair is the scariest and most offensive aspect of the show. It looks like it's taking over his head! Like it's going to crawl across the table and swallow up half of Alton Brown's face! With judge Andrew Knowlton's luxurious tresses book-ending judge Donatella Arpaia's lustrously flowing locks, it looks like the cast of 'Jesus Christ Superstar.'

But that's all, folks. In every other respect, the damn thing is pretty impeccable. If anything, it's shockingly free of the kind of overjuiced drama and pathos, the gimmicky product placement of its role model. Ruhlman's terrifying and seemingly unshaven appearance aside, the judges are well-qualified to pass judgment on the chef/contestants - and any show that features my pals Mike 'Screaming Mimi' Symon, Aaron 'Papi Chulo' Sanchez, and Chris 'Guts 'R' Us' Cosentino is worth watching. Hell, I could just watch those three goofing around in the kitchen for a full hour.

I admire as well that in the first two episodes, the judges kicked off both female contestants. I have no doubt that both decisions were reached on the basis of food alone - but the network can NOT have been happy at this development. I was personally shocked that the most experienced and celebrated chef of the lot, the one with the greatest stature in the biz, Traci Des Jardins, was first to go. Karmic payback, perhaps - for publicly swearing off foie gras at a time when her peers needed her? I don't know. I do know that they likely kissed off a larger potential audience by eliminating the women - and that, if nothing else, is a win for independent judging. After the humiliating public expletive of 'Next Food Network Star,' it's nice to see them doing something right.

I'm still recovering from a two-week swing through England, Scotland, Crete and Zakynthos. Slaughtering goats, drinking raki and ouzo has left my critical faculties somewhat impaired. But I'll be watching more closely in weeks to come. If only to see if Ruhlman's grooming improves. Get a haircut, hippie!!

Jeff Houck

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