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Throwdown: Bucs vs. Jaguars

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: October 25, 2007

Each week during the season, The Tampa Tribune will challenge a columnist from the Bucs' opposing city to a Throwdown, to determine the superior city - and which team will come out ahead. This week's Throwdown features the Tribune's Joe Henderson against Gene Frenette of The Florida Times-Union. (Who's the winner? Be sure to vote, and to comment below).

Bucs: No Waffling On This Pick

Joe Henderson, The Tampa Tribune

This thing should be all over with the writing of a single word: Jacksonville.

We win because, well, we're not Jacksonville.

Then again, what place is? Jacksonville is what happens when guys from Detroit break down on the way to Daytona. If Jacksonville were in California, it would be Oakland.

Duty demands that we continue with this missive, though. Well, actually my editor demands it. There is space to fill. So let us proceed.

We tried shipping this modern-day Calcutta by the Coast to Georgia but Georgia, unfortunately, was awake and kept kicking it back like Aunt Tessie's Christmas fruitcake.

Speaking of Georgia ...

We hear official people now frown on the ''World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party'' name for the Florida-Georgia game that, for reasons passing understanding, is always played in your town. I don't get it. It almost seems unfair. How else do you expect people to forget they're in Jacksonville?

To be fair, you actually hosted a Super Bowl - once. Good luck on it ever coming back, though, after a week where the main story lines were:

1. Could it get any colder?

2. Could it rain any more?

3. Did they really have to bring in cruise ships to house people because there aren't enough hotel rooms in that sleepy lil' town? (Yes).

4. Do you need reservations at the Waffle House? (In Jacksonville, maybe).

By now, my good friend Gene Frenette of the Florida Times-Union is working hard to come up with strip-club jokes, cigar jokes, and all the standard digs at Tampa.

Bring it on.

I mean, at least my newspaper isn't ashamed to put the actual name of our city on the masthead.

Anyway, the football teams representing our fair city and your, uh, location will square off this Sunday at beautiful, picturesque Raymond James Stadium. Bring paper. You'll want to take notes.

It probably won't be much of a game. The Bucs are unbeaten at home and that doesn't figure to change, especially since your quarterback is hurt. We saw how much of a scrap you put up Monday night against the Colts. Well, uh ... never mind. The Bucs didn't fare so well against them, either.

At least the Bucs had to go to Indy to get their butts whipped. though. Your guys couldn't even defend the homeland. Or maybe they just looked around at what passes for ''home'' and went ''yuck'' before they rolled over and begged for the Colts not to hurt them any more.

You'll probably find scoring points to be very difficult Sunday. The Bucs have been playing pretty good defense for most of the year, not that they'll likely need to after watching your team the other night.

Feel real confident with backup quarterback Quinn Gray taking the snaps, do you? It's his first career start, huh? We'd like to take this opportunity to introduce you to Derrick Brooks and his friends.

Let's call this, Bucs 27-10.

A word of warning: They fire cannons at Ray-Jay every time the Bucs enter the red zone, so if any of you are planning to make the trip you might want to pack earplugs. You'll be hearing the boom so often Sunday, you'll think we've declared war.

But no ... it's just our way of selling hello and welcome to Tampa.

You may like it here so much, you'll want to stay.

Believe me, we understand.

Jaguars: No Need To Thank Us

GENE FRENETTE, Florida Times-Union

Two distinguished NFL pacesetters will clash today at Raymond James Stadium.

The Jacksonville Jaguars now lead the league in local television blackouts (remember those, Tampa Bay?), while the Buccaneers have the most ex-quarterbacks who went on to win Super Bowls for somebody else.

So hang in there, Jeff Garcia. You may get that ring if you give free agency one more shot.

Otherwise, Tampa Bay, take little comfort in thinking victory is yours just because Garcia has thrown 3,000 more passes and 141 more touchdowns in the NFL than his Jaguars counterpart, Quinn Gray.

The only meaningful football edge Tampa Bay holds over Jacksonville is in hosting Super Bowls, squeezing more snaps out of John Wade, and head coaches with trademark scowls.

But give credit to Jon Gruden. At least his facial expressions aren't always so over the top like Jim Leavitt, who should have a blood pressure medication named after him.

In non-football categories, Tampa Bay's advantage over Jacksonville is pretty limited. You have a more vibrant nightlife, so it'd be no surprise if Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio had someone on player lookout last night at Mons Venus.

On Jacksonville's plus side, the Jaguars have 110 franchise wins in 12-plus years. It took the Bucs over 20 years just to get to the century mark. And you don't see Jacksonville pumping up its market size by piggybacking on St. Augustine like Tampa does St. Petersburg.

Let me remind Tampa Bay that if it wasn't for Jacksonville, the Buccaneers wouldn't have much of a history, infamous or otherwise. In 1994, the Jaguars took a pass on hiring coach Tony Dungy, clearing the way for him to bring respectability to a franchise once known as the Yucs.

Don't bother thanking us. Jacksonville kind of owed Tampa Bay a big favor. After all, our city did help ignite a successful law career for former Buccaneers chief executive Hugh Culverhouse, who went on to become to NFL ownership what Kevin Federline is to rock 'n roll.

Speaking of music, Jacksonville is the home of Lynyrd Skynyrd, while Tampa is the origin of a pedestrian Skynyrd wannabe, The Outlaws. I believe the Outlaws' hit song was "Sweet Home, Ybor City."

Jacksonville has another famous band, Limp Bizkit. Tampa Bay just has a limp offense, at least when the Bucs play against AFC South teams.

Jaguars 17, Buccaneers 14.

And there's nothing John Wade can do to change it.

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