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Don't Put Off Family Interviews

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By SHARON TATE MOODY, The Tampa Tribune

Published: September 23, 2007

They buried your Uncle Joe last week. You had been intending for months to get over to his place and talk with him. He was 95 years old - he took almost a century of firsthand family knowledge to his grave.

Your procrastination has resulted in an irretrievable loss to your family history project. Perhaps you put off that interview because you don't feel comfortable with the process. It's much less intimidating to find information in old record books or on the Internet than it is to sit face to face with a relative and ask personal questions.

Interviewing is a skill that must be developed with practice. A big part of the process is to convince the interviewee, through sincere and honest questions, that what they know is important to us.

How you phrase questions makes a big difference in the responses you'll get. Here's my Baker's Dozen Tips for successful interviews.

1. Organize yourself and arrive on time. Pack your materials wisely so you don't arrive looking like a pack mule, dragging things and dropping things. Keep your tools to a minimum. Select a single bag into which you can place a digital camera, a digital recorder, a writing pad.

2. Don't begin with a direct attack seeking facts and figures. As you enter the person's home, look for something interesting to break the ice with. 'Miss Mary, you surely do have a beautiful rose garden out there - do you tend them yourself?' People surround themselves with things they love, and your taking an interest in them will help get you both talking.

3. Be casual and interview in a conversational style. Remember, you aren't there to give anyone the third degree. This approach will help your relative relax and make it easier for her to remember the past.

4. Be a good listener. This isn't the time to impress Cousin Len with all the information you've gathered or your opinions about it. Sharing is good, but don't dominate the conversation.

5. Remember that if you have three eyewitnesses to an event, you'll get three different versions of it. Just because one person has given you his version doesn't mean you don't want another. 'Mother told me relate details. Is that how you remember it?'

6. Speculative questions are wonderful ways to get around cold impersonal facts. Ask things like 'Why do you think Grandpa did that?' or 'What do you think that was like?'

7. Have a list of questions, but be flexible and willing to go wherever the conversation flows.

8. Ask open-ended questions. Rather than ask 'Did George marry a Rogers woman?' ask 'Who did George marry?'

9. Unless you have a good reason for adding a third person to the conversation, you're better off to visit alone. You cannot control another person's questions or behavior.

10. If you have family pictures, take them to share. Your relative is more likely to bring out the family album or shoe box if you've shared some photos of interest to her.

11. Rather than ask whether you can borrow photographs, be prepared to scan on the spot. I have a scanner (a Canon Lide 70) that fits into my laptop computer case. It isn't necessary to bring it into the interview immediately; leave it in the car and retrieve it only if she has photographs or documents she will share.

12. Don't overstay your visit. Older people can tire easily. Two hours is about the longest you should interview. Ask if you can return another day.

13. My Southern manners always serve me well. Remember to say 'please' and 'thank you' to the person who has agreed to share his personal stories.

Internet Web sites with suggested interview questions abound. You can find good questions at these sites:

•Ancestry.com's Learning Center ( www.ancestry.com/learn/); type 'interviews' in the search box.

•Okeechobee Genealogical Society ( www.rootsweb.com/~flgso/intvwqus.htm)

•About.com (genealogy

.about.com/cs/oralhistory/a/interview.htm)

The person you just interviewed has given you a gift of his memories and information. Show your appreciation by sending a thank-you note - and do it the old-fashioned way with a card rather than e-mail. Even if your older relative has an e-mail account, that personal card propped up on the kitchen table will mean so much more.

If the person has shared family papers and photographs and has been especially helpful, it isn't over the top to send a bouquet of flowers. And while you're at it, why not put her on your birthday card list to keep the new connection alive. After all, that's one of the things that makes genealogy so meaningful!

Sharon Tate Moody is president of the Association of Professional Genealogists. Send your genealogy questions and event announcements to her in care of BayLife, The Tampa Tribune, 200 S. Parker St., Tampa FL 33606, or wmoody3@tampabay.rr.com. She regrets

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