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Throwdown: Bucs vs. Panthers

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TBO.com

Published: September 28, 2007

Each week during the season, The Tampa Tribune will challenge a columnist from the Bucs' opposing city to a Throwdown, to determine the superior city - and which team will come out ahead. This week's Throwdown features the Tribune's Martin Fennelly against Scott Fowler of the Charlotte Observer. (Who's the winner? Be sure to vote, and to comment below).

Bucs: Bank On A Bucs Triumph

MARTIN FENNELLY, The Tampa Tribune

Let's get this out of the way:

Our kickers still don't like your punters.

Tampa and Charlotte have much in common. A glance at our respective skylines tells you we both entered the "Who Can Build The Tallest Bank Building?" contest. Both of us are entertainment hubs. We are a mere hour from Disney World. You live 15 minutes from Greg Biffle's garage. Oranges and apples, or lug wrenches.

But that's where it ends.

The Bucs will win Sunday against Carolina, or "North Carolina," as Bucs coach Jon Gruden refers to the Panthers. Hey, give the guy a break. He works really, really hard. His kids still wear name tags to help him out at home.

North Carolina is no relation to the "North Carolina" Butch Davis brought down here last week to be embarrassed by South Florida. After the game, Davis, the original Saban, repeated that he has no intentions of leaving Miami.

Where were we?

Oh, yes, Bucs-North Carolina.

This one's personal.

This one's for Chris Simms' spleen.

Thought we forgot that, did you?

Oh, and way to incite poor D'Angelo Hall last Sunday. What's next from your state, letting the Iranian president guy dot the "I" in Dean Smith?

Sorry, we got carried away. We give the Panthers high marks for having Keyshawn catch a touchdown and run for one last season against Gruden. Nice touch. And we know that if it wasn't for North Carolina, there would be no Kitty Hawk, and if there was no Kitty Hawk, there would be no airplanes, and if there were no airplanes, there wouldn't aspirin-sized Sahara-dry turkey sandwiches listed as "SNACK."

And by the way, they lost Orville's luggage.

See why we hate you?

If we've insulted you or your head football coach, Roy Williams, we apologize.

Then again, apologies are never forthcoming when these two squads tangle.

One of our favorite throwdowns was between then Bucs revolving-door offensive lineman Kenyatta Walker and Carolina sack mavens Julius Peppers and Kris Jenkins. Remember when Peppers took a swing at Walker?

"There's no question about it, he's garbage," Jenkins said of Walker.

So naturally the Panthers signed Garbage before this season, matching the Bucs' past signing of Turnstile Todd Steussie.

Would have loved to have been there the first day of training camp.

Yatta, Kris. Kris, Yatta.

Bet they had a pajama party that very night.

North Carolina had the good sense to cut Yatta. But it's always been weird up there.

Which brings us to our favorite steel-cage match in recent sports history:

Todd "The Breathalyzer" Sauerbrun vs. The G-Men.

What a war.

Micronesia meets Maldives.

You know it's a rivalry when a punter and a kicker come off the top ring ropes. Deranged Panthers punter Sauerbrun constantly mocked the pocket-sized Bucs kicker Martin "Wait, Billy's the One Who Blew His Knee Out" Gramatica.

"He's an idiot," Todd S. said of Martin G.

Gramatica tried to fight Sauerbrun after one game, but was restrained. I think they used a clothes pin.

Sauerbrun almost had the last laugh, as Marty missed two kicks against North Carolina in 2004 and was released two days later. Alas, Todd reverted to his slimeball self, complete with DUI and four-game suspension for a banned supplement.

Todd, Marty, time to make up.

The Sunnis and Shiites will if you will.

Where were we? Back to the big game. I like the Bucs because the Panthers have injured Jake Delhomme and Bucs QB Jeff Garcia, incredibly, remains in one piece. Moreover, the Bucs defense is showing signs of life.

Moreover, I heard Scott Fowler once killed a guy.

Before we forget, a big hello to all the left tire men up at the NASCAR shops.

Bucs 20, North Carolina 17.

PANTHERS: Same As It Ever Was

SCOTT FOWLER, Charlotte Observer

CHARLOTTE - Only a few things can be counted on these days. The sun rises and sets. Paris Hilton does something stupid. And Jon Gruden screws his face into his Chucky snarl and watches his hapless Tampa Bay Buccaneers lose yet again to the Carolina Panthers.

It will happen again this Sunday in this battle for the early NFC South lead. Not because Carolina has a clear advantage in talent this time - the Panthers don't, especially with Buc-killer Jake Delhomme almost certainly sidelined with an elbow injury.

It will happen again just because that's the way of the world. Carolina has gone 7-1 against Tampa Bay since 2003 - beating the Bucs in good years and bad, with Keyshawn Johnson and without him, when Gruden was still considered a quirky genius and after he became tiresome.

Gruden doesn't know whether to trust his rusted-out Cadillac or not. He does have a quarterback with a spleen this year in Jeff Garcia, but he no longer has Warren Sapp or John Lynch. I thought those guys were washed up, according to the Bucs. Seems like they've done pretty well elsewhere.

I won't criticize Tampa as a city. For a formerly mobbed-up town that is considered the unofficial strip-club capital of America, it's a pretty nice place if you don't mind frying eggs on the sidewalk in December.

My talented sportswriting colleague in Tampa Bay, Martin Fennelly, doesn't believe Carolina will win Sunday, of course. But you can't believe Martin - the worst-dressed sportswriter in the world. He shows up for Final Fours and Super Bowls in short pants. He lives life like he just rolled off a dorm-room couch. And he sees the world through Creamsicle-colored glasses.

Let's look at a few facts, starting with the extra point in 2003 that began this whole jinx thing Carolina has going over Tampa Bay. In the second game of that season, Tampa Bay scored on the last play of regulation to tie the game, 9-9. All that remained was for Martin (Not So Automatica) Gramatica to kick the extra point. He was 129-for-129 in his career on extra points until that moment, when the Panthers' Kris Jenkins broke through the line so easily that he actually blocked the kick with his elbow.

The Panthers, of course, won in overtime, went to the Super Bowl and have elbowed Tampa aside ever since.

For all the Panthers' problems - and there are several, including Delhomme's injury, a suddenly mediocre front four and John Fox's inherent conservatism - they have Tampa Bay's number.

That blocked extra point four years ago cinched it. Tampa Bay is good karma for Carolina. The Bucs are always stopped here.

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