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Alligator Bob Has New Job In Gooberville

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Daniel Ruth

The Tampa Tribune

Published: April 5, 2008

Thanks to the Hillsborough County Commission, once again it's "Alllllllllll aboard for Gooberville!"

Think about this for a moment. Suppose you were an Orange County commissioner and you were considering appointments to your local tourist development council.

The choice for the final seat on the board was between Disney World or Crazy Larry's Ear Wax Museum. What to do? What to do?

Now let's travel just a few short miles west to Hillsborough County, the Area 51 of government.

A few days ago, the county commission was pondering appointments for a seat on the Hillsborough County Tourist Development Council.

In this case, the gut-wrenching, Hamlet-esque, Thomas Becket-like struggle to decide on who to approve came down to a choice between Busch Gardens or Alligator Bob. This was a tough one.

Just Like Chicken

If you think you are certain how the commissioners voted, you're probably wrong. On the other hand, if you've lived in this county for, oh, at least a week, you probably did indeed guess right.

Yep, the commissioners gave the nod to (ta-dah!) Alligator Bob, otherwise known as Bob Young, an alligator trapper, hiking guide and purveyor of various alligator meat snacks, which, of course, taste just like chicken.

Or put another way, the county commission denied a seat on the tourism development council to the No. 1 economic engine of tourist dollars in this region. If these folks were any dumber, they'd find themselves being trapped by Alligator Bob.

Let's all stipulate that Alligator Bob is a well-intentioned chap who yearns to see tourism flourish and therefore sales of his lizard-on-a-stick enjoy a renaissance of profitability as well.

But passing over Busch Gardens for a seat at the tourism development table would be akin to having a Hillsborough Auto Sales Development Council and blowing off Ferman Motors in favor of a used car dealer in Fort Lonesome with four jalopies on the lot.

Better Credentials Than Jacques

Alligator Bob's earnest interest in eco-tourism notwithstanding, his ability to prevail over Busch Gardens for a seat on the council had precious little to do with anyone confusing him with Jacques Cousteau.

Rather, Alligator Bob was elevated to the tourism board over a respected corporate citizen responsible for more bed-tax revenue than any other business in the area because he possessed the most important credential of all - he's a hotsy-totsy member of the Hillsborough County Republican Executive Committee.

Young lobbied hard for the tourism job, especially commission Chairman Ken Hagan, who supported Alligator Bob's appointment, noting he did not know applicant Donald Mills was the general manager of Busch Gardens.

Due diligence? What a quaint concept.

The chairman of the county commission did not know the identity of one of this community's most important business leaders, who leads an organization with some 2,500 employees, generating tens of millions of dollars in revenue.

Alllllllllll aboard! Next stop, Dogpatch Heights!

Keyword: Book of Ruth, to read and comment on Daniel Ruth's blog.

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