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The Awkward Conversation

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By JOHN SILVERA

The Tampa Tribune

Published: April 20, 2008

With hormones raging and while cracking jokes with my classmates, I walked into our first sex-education class.

In those days, my friends and I used to repeat the words of certain parts of the anatomy for our own amusement and I would ask the girls clever questions about their physiques and they'd answer, sometimes teasing us with a glimpse of a bra strap.

That's what we considered sex education in junior high.

In the actual sex-ed class, an outside instructor would come to our school to preach about all the sexually transmitted diseases out there, how they can harm you and cause you to lose brain functions. They would say abstinence was the only safe road to take, because any sexual activity would bring dire consequences.

One could end up like poor Timmy after prom night - with gonorrhea - or like Suzy, who got pregnant at the age of 14 and dropped out of school. The message was clear: If we wanted to finish school and have a good life, we had to keep our promise of abstinence.

After the sex education instructor would leave, our science teacher would take the floor and give us a more down-to-earth perspective. He told us the importance of using protection and birth control and of choosing our relationships well.

In fact, this teacher made such an impact that I still practice what he taught me.

Now some might think that should have been my parents' job. But at home, while the topic of sex was an open one, it was very awkward. The only advice I received from my father was "be safe out there," and my mom would tell me to not do anything until marriage and that premarital sex was a sin. She even quoted the Bible.

Those lessons had their impact on me, too. But some people are not so fortunate.

I had one friend who slept through the abstinence classes but was one of the first to jump into risky behavior. Since no one had explained to him to the responsible way to have a sexual relationship, it wasn't until he had a health scare and needed an HIV test that he understood the importance of using protection.

How can some lawmakers not understand that it's human nature to have sex? It's not the ideal, but by the time we become teenagers, our bodies are designed to procreate.

Why can't our leaders understand that it's best to prevent the consequences of risky sexual behavior than to uselessly try to prevent a natural urge?

Times have changed some, and young people have many new negative influences on their behavior. But when it comes to sex, my friends and I are just like my father and his friends 30 years ago.

They experienced the same problems we do when it comes to sex - the lack of education about it, the STDs and the unintended pregnancies that resulted from ignorance. But now they seem to have forgotten their children deserve a proper education in how to protect themselves too.

John Silvera is a graduate of Chamberlain High School and is pursuing a degree in civil engineering.

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