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Monkeys Made Like A Banana And Split

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Daniel Ruth

The Tampa Tribune

Published: April 26, 2008

So, what should we call this dramatic literal banana republic break for freedom?

The Shaw-Simian Redemption? The J. Fred Muggs version of "Papillon"?

Or perhaps when a dozen patas monkeys were being airlifted from Puerto Rico to Lex Salisbury's Safari Wild preserve in Polk County, the in-flight movie was "Born Free."

Whatever the inspiration, having 12 wild animals pull off a jail- break is certainly embarrassing enough. When the owner of the scene of the crime is also the president of Lowry Park Zoo, it's like Donald Trump getting busted for writing a bad check.

After observing a similar enclosure for a group of patas monkeys residing in Naples, Salisbury figured if he settled his critters on a large island surrounded by a 60-foot-wide, 8-foot-deep moat, as well as a wall, that everything would be just peachy. Uh-oh.

"My sense is I underestimated the wiliness of this group of patas monkeys," a chagrined Salisbury sighed. No kidding.

A Strong-Minded Woman

This week, one of the monkeys, whom Salisbury described as the dominant female in the troop (we'll call her Hillary), took a look at the imposing moat and apparently said to herself, "Pffffft, 60 feet of water is a mere bagatelle, I can handle this," before diving into the drink with an offspring in tow in a mad dash to freedom.

And just what prompted the Houdini of monkeys to make a run for it? "Because she could?" Salisbury reasoned.

Then, before you could say, "Hey, Hey, We're The Monkees," the rest of the beasts followed across the moat, turning Salisbury's preserve into the "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom's" answer to "The Fugitive."

A Storm Of Street Smarts

"I underestimated their ability to do this," a chastened Salisbury admitted, adding that while the Naples patas monkeys were all well acclimated to a controlled environment, his obvious malcontents "...were more street smart than zoo monkeys."

At the risk of causing state Sen. Ronda Storms, R-King Kong's Cousin?, to start foaming at the mouth, Salisbury was asked if it would be putting too fine a Darwinian evolutionary spin on things to suggest the monkey escape involved coordination and communication among the sub-phyla on the run.

"Yeah, I think it was," Salisbury, a trained zoologist, said. "It was a concerted effort."

A single male, who Salisbury described as "subordinate to the group, he didn't get along with the others," decided once he was free of both Salisbury and, well, Hillary, to take off on his own and was last seen heading into the Green Swamp, where he will be certainly lonelier, but at last no longer henpecked.

The monkeys, who can reach speeds of up to 35 mph and thus are difficult to shoot with a dart, are most likely to be recaptured (if at all) by luring them into traps laden with bananas, which Salisbury said are like crack cocaine to the troublemakers.

Salisbury said he would build a more-enclosed area for the patas if he can recapture them. But what's to keep them from tunneling their way out "The Hole"?

And how does Salisbury know that right now Hillary and her gang aren't watching "The Great Ape Escape," as they plot their next move?

Keyword: Book of Ruth, to read and comment on Daniel Ruth's blog.

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