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Veep Dreams Seem To Turn To Bleep

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By DANIEL RUTH

The Tampa Tribune

Published: August 14, 2008

An old Hollywood line describing a career arc might well describe the political fortunes of our governor - Who is Charlie Crist? Get me Charlie Crist! Whatever happened to Charlie Crist?

Maybe this only proves it is a very short distance between being on a short list and getting short-sheeted.

Not long ago the governor was doing so much elbow-rubbing with the pinnacle of Republican hotsy-tots that he made Dick Cheney look like the dog-catcher of Dogpatch.

Washington powerbroker dinners, profiles in The New York Times and of course, the mother of all photo-ops, spending the Fourth of July weekend schmoozing and tossing back pork rinds with John and Cindy McCain at their Arizona manse. Kato Kaelin never had it this good.

Of course, all of this exposure was part of the elaborate political kabuki dance potential vice presidential running mates are put through to measure the cut of their jib.

About the only thing Crist, Mitt Romney, Tim Pawlenty, Mike Huckabee and the other rumored contenders weren't subjected to was the swimsuit competition. And for that our beloved governor probably would have had his legs waxed if he thought it might help.
Whoopee Cushion Heiress

By all accounts Crist seemed to have acquitted himself rather well, even proposing to New York socialite and whoopee cushion heiress Carole Rome, who got the Louvre in her recent divorce settlement.

And yet the conventional wisdom among the political intelligentsia appears to suggest Crist has slipped off the vice presidential radar as the Republican National Convention nears.

Who knows why? Perhaps we'll learn someday that during that fateful holiday in Arizona, Crist unwittingly spent the entire time walking around with his zipper down. Surely Romney or Pawlenty weren't going to say anything!

A Little Help From His Friends

Some observers have noted Crist's old friend Harry Sargeant III didn't help matters when stories broke about people of modest means making substantial political contributions through Sargeant.

Indeed, McCain wound up returning some $50,000 in political donations recruited by the governor's pal. Not good.

Others note Crist's more moderate political views don't sit well with the fire-breathing social conservatives on the right wing.

But one of the more curious knocks on the governor came from The Wall Street Journal, which criticized Crist in an editorial for what it viewed as his "political opportunism."

Now there might well be some perfectly legitimate reasons not to select Crist as running mate. But to accuse any politician of "political opportunism" is a bit like taking Pope Benedict to task for praying too much.

For isn't the life of politics cultivating the art of opportunism? Please cite a single political figure in the history of this country from the Founding Fathers forward who were not opportunists?

It's just a guess, but it's entirely possible Crist's appeal faded out of fears on the part of McCain that given Rome's association with the whoopee cushion/hand buzzer/exploding cigar novelty business, it presented too great a diplomatic risk to have her lurking around that first state dinner with the Queen of England.

Keyword: Book of Ruth, to read and comment on Daniel Ruth's blog.

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