Photo from Johnson Smith Co.
Blast your kids out of bed Army-style with this Jeep alarm clock. It plays 'Reveille.'
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Published: August 20, 2008
The kids have been back in school only a few days and already you're secretly loading squirt guns with ice water. There was a time you would've called such an idea cruel. Remember? Now, blasting your slumbering schnookums out of bed sounds, simply, brilliant.
Take your hands off the guns. Instead, give little sleepyhead a measure of independence, a novel gift, a cool bedroom accessory: his own alarm clock.
Some of these choices may look like toys. That's OK. It's all part of the plan.
Come morning, these clocks may compromise Junior's otherwise sunny disposition. Brace yourself. And take consolation in the knowledge you're helping him grow up. You won't always be there with squirt guns.
The Sonic Boom
If it can wake the hearing-impaired, it should work on the child whose slumber seems more like a coma. Sonic Boom is a popular seller at Independent Living Technologies, a company that develops products for people with physical disabilities. Wakeup stimuli include the Super Shaker Bed Vibrator to get your sleeper moving; a flashing light (plug a lamp into the clock); and a blaring alarm. Experiment with the light flashes and blare tones to find the perfect combination.
$56.99 (free shipping) at www.iltsource.com
Flying Alarm
Some students respond to fear, others to a sense of fun. When the alarm goes off, this clock launches a rotor that flies around the room, hovering up to 9 feet in the air. The alarm doesn't shut up till the rotor is returned to the clock base. It's fun. Really.
$39.95 at www.hammacher.com
Runaway Alarm
In another take on the "oh yeah, make me" approach, the Runaway rolls off and hides while randomly beeping and flashing. Yelling "Shut up!" from under the blankets won't do a thing to silence it. Your sleeper must get up, find his fun new toy and hit the snooze button to get a little peace.
$49.95 at www.hammacher.com
Police Siren
This one's for kids who respond best to a firm voice of authority and a fear of life behind bars. When it's time to get up, a whirling cop-car light flashes, a siren wails, and a no-nonsense voice warns: "This is the police! You have to the count of three to get out of bed, or we're coming in ..."
$19.95 at whatonearthcatalog.com
Fred-O-Vision
Lure the couch tater tot out of bed with game-show jingles. By the time she realizes it's not Saturday morning, she'll be halfway through her bowl of Sugar Pops. This retro style "TV" comes with a mini remote to turn the lighted test pattern on and off.
$24.85 at wowcoolstuff.com
Jeep
For the Junior ROTC cadet, a tune he can't ignore: "Reveille." If that fails, the Jeep starts honking like a New York cab driver. When at ease, it's a toy. Press on the steering wheel to hear the horn beep, pull on the gear shift to flash the headlights.
$14.97 at www.thingsyouneverknew.com
Start Your Engines
To get through algebra, students have to be running on all eight cylinders. They'll get there fast waking to a high-powered V8 engine revving to top speed. A tachometer monitors the increasing rpms as the engine whines through four gears. Even after it hits top speed, the noise grows in pitch and intensity until someone hits the brakes.
$49.95 at www.hammacher.com
Peaceful Progression
For the child who gets a truly serious case of the grumps from jarring wakeups, a gradual progression of light, stimulating aromas and peaceful nature sounds may be in order. Thirty minutes before wakeup, the clock begins to glow. As the light increases, its warmth releases aromatherapy scents. After 15 minutes, nature sounds kick in and, finally, at wakeup, a buzzer sounds.
$49.95 at www.hammacher.com
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