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How Can Caregivers Take Care Of Themselves?

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By AMANDA GRANT SMITH, MD Tribune correspondent

The Tampa Tribune

Published: August 23, 2008

Recently, a patient's husband broke into tears while we were speaking privately. Mr. Rose felt completely overwhelmed and alone caring for his wife with Alzheimer's disease. His doctor was concerned because his blood pressure was very high. Mr. Rose was not doing much to take care of his own needs, and it was affecting his ability to provide the best care to his wife.

The American Cancer Society asks, "When you are busy caring for the person with cancer, who is taking care of you?" This rings true for caregivers of any kind, whether they are the parents of a child with autism, the adult children of a cancer patient, or the spouse of a person with dementia. Taking care of your own needs is vital to surviving one of the most stressful and heartbreaking tasks life can bestow.

Caregivers struggle with many emotions, such as anger, frustration, guilt, sadness, worry and exhaustion. They have poor eating habits, limited social interaction and get minimal exercise. Often, they have given up hobbies and other enjoyable activities because of lack of time or energy. Some do not take care of their health, ignoring worrisome symptoms or skipping their own doctors' appointments. Many caregivers get severely depressed, and some even have thoughts of suicide.

Fortunately, you can take steps to reduce caregiver stress. Educate yourself about the illness your loved one is facing so you are best prepared to handle what may come your way. Seek out community resources such as companion services, Meals on Wheels, visiting nurses, or hospice or respite care. Don't be afraid to ask for help from family members, friends, neighbors or fellow parishioners in your place of worship. Carve out time to do something you enjoy, be it a hobby, shopping, catching a movie, or taking a nap. Don't sacrifice your own health; eat right, exercise, and get treatment for your medical problems. Use relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, massages or journal writing. Set priorities and keep a schedule, so you can accomplish realistic goals. Attend a local caregiver support group or join one online. Find comfort in spiritual services or prayer, and consider speaking privately with a clergy member or chaplain. Seek counseling from a mental health professional if you think you are depressed, and get emergency help if you are having suicidal thoughts.

Often, the idea of getting assistance is overwhelming for caregivers who already are close to "burning out." However, even if it takes the last of your energy, seeking assistance can only make things better. Give yourself credit for all you've done already, and don't feel guilty about the things you can't handle or change.

With some encouragement, Mr. Rose joined a support group, asked his niece to watch Mrs. Rose two mornings a week and started playing golf again. His blood pressure improved, as did his outlook, and he no longer felt overwhelmed.

For more tips, visit the Web sites of organizations specific to your loved one's illness. For Alzheimer's caregivers, the USF Suncoast Alzheimer's and Gerontology Center is offering a series of free caregiver seminars across the Tampa Bay area this fall. For information, call (813) 974-4355 or go to the calendar section at www.suncoastalzheimers.com

Dr. Smith is interim director of the Suncoast Alzheimer's and Gerontology Center at USF Health.

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