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Don't Let Your Finances Stress You Out

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: August 24, 2008

You're stressed. How do I know? Because my mailbox is overflowing with e-mail from people who are overwhelmed.

For some, it's the combination of high gas prices and a 40-minute drive to work. Others have had their hours - and their paychecks - cut back. And many are just sick of seeing higher prices every time they walk into a grocery store. People across the country are being hammered by this economy, and it's taking a toll on not only our wallets, but also our health.
Financial stress can cause insomnia, depression and can trigger addictive behaviors such as drug and alcohol abuse. To cope, you need to take control of it before it takes control of you. Here, what you need to know - and do - to stay grounded during these rocky times:

Evaluate the situation. You may be afraid of the credit card bill or the mortgage statement, but sticking it in a drawer is not going to help you in the long run. So I want you to pull out all of the financial statements that you've been avoiding, spread them out in front of you (and your partner, if you have one) and survey the damage. You might find that it's not nearly as bad as you thought, or you might find that it's worse, but either way, knowing where you stand when it comes to your finances is always the first step. The second is creating a plan to attack it, which means finding extra money in your budget by cutting out the extras and funneling it toward your expenses and bills. Once you have that plan in place, I want you to put the debt in the back of your mind. Sounds counterproductive, but you have to do it for your mental health.

Find a friend. Financial stress often leads to feelings of shame. People are embarrassed that they've managed to run up their credit cards, are behind on the mortgage payments or are not saving for retirement. Keeping your problems bottled up inside isn't going to do you any good.

"What we know is that isolation kills, which means it drives up stress, and community, or being with other people in disclosure and telling the truth, is a healing balm," explains Kathleen Hall, founder of The Stress Institute. Find one friend you feel comfortable confiding in, and then tell him or her everything. In this economy, you'll very likely find that you're not the least bit alone in your problems.

Give yourself a time out. We all have something that makes us feel totally relaxed. For me, it's going on a long run. Others have found that yoga, mediation or a bubble bath does the trick. Dedicate a portion of time - ideally a half hour or more - each day to whatever it is that helps you unwind. Schedule it into your calendar, have your spouse watch the kids, do whatever it takes to do this one thing for yourself each day. It won't keep you completely stress-free, but it will help release some of the tension so it doesn't boil over.

Be grateful. "It is physiologically impossible to be stressed and be grateful at the same time, so when you see that bill and think that you just can't take one more thing, take a deep breath and be thankful," says Hall. If it helps, pretend it's Thanksgiving and make a list of all of the things you appreciate in your life. Think of your kids, your family, your work, your hobbies, that bubble bath or run you squeezed in earlier, your health - everything that gets you out of bed in the morning.

Take the reins where you can. There is a laundry list of things we, as consumers, just don't have control over in this world. You can't change how much you pay for gas. But what you can do is get a grip on the rest of your financial picture. You can choose whether you go into a store and spend money you don't have on something you don't need.

Jean Chatzky is an editor-at-large at Money Magazine and serves as AOL's official Money Coach. She is the personal finance editor for NBC's "Today Show."

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