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Brazen Essays Smack Funny Bone

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By JANINE DORSEY

The Tampa Tribune

Published: August 24, 2008

"Belle Weather: Mostly Sunny With a Chance Of Scattered Hissy Fits" by Celia Rivenbark (St. Martin's Press, $21.95)

Whether you're a Southern mama or not, there's been a time you have wanted to whop your spawn upside his or her head. Admit it. Sassy southern scribe Celia Rivenbark has wanted to do that. But the target of her aggression probably just gets a witty tongue-lashing.

Her laugh-out-loud observations about our life and times are about as tart as lemonade and as refreshing as a cold mint julep.

Rivenbark's brazen essays cover a wide range of topics including, but are not limited to: "Nature Deficit Disorder," spaying Tori Spelling, dealing with dead or otherwise offensive varmints, rugby-playing lesbians and getting Britney Spears to put some pants on.

Liberally peppered with expressions from south of the Mason-Dixon Line ("Relief flooded over me like butter on a hot biscuit."), Rivenbark's homey humor hits your funny bone every time. Leave it to her to take up the torch against the disturbing new trend of spa days for elementary school-age children, or banishing Sudoku from the marital bedroom. Willing to take the post of "mama non grata," Rivenbark challenges the perfect mommies and everyone else among us who thinks it's OK to dress their 6-year-olds like "skanks."

With a release date just as the school year kicks back into overdrive, these quick-hit ruminations are just the ticket for moms on the go in between trips to the orthodontist to fix Princess's perfect teeth or boiling up a batch of butter beans.

Janine Dorsey is a news/special projects producer for TBO.com.

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