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More Youths Expressing Grief Through Body Art

File photo from NANCY RUPP

Army Spc. Donald Bruno, left, and Army Spec. Nicholas Atkinson, right, display tattoos they got in remembrance of Jody Missildine. Missildine, a Plant City High graduate, was killed in Iraq in 2006.

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By KEITH MORELLI | The Tampa Tribune

Published: August 28, 2008

TAMPA - Nick Barnett was devastated when he heard about the traffic deaths of two close friends this month.

He left work to spend a few hours with their families. Then he went to the tattoo parlor.

Barnett, an 18-year-old Bloomingdale High graduate, became part of a growing number of young people who are memorializing lost friends and family in permanent body ink. Teens and young adults mostly are the ones doing this, tattoo artists say.

Psychologists aren't sure this is a good way to ease the sense of loss. While it may seem to help in the grieving process, they say, the permanence of body art demands more consideration than it often gets.

"Tattoos are very permanent," said Eric Storch, a University of South Florida professor and psychiatrist. "That's not to say that tattoos are a bad thing in any way. But, it's a very permanent thing. Someday, you may feel differently.

Barnett said he will never regret the time he spent sitting in a tattoo artist's chair, even though the five-hour process took longer than his decision to go through with it.

"It hurt," he acknowledged. "A lot."

But it was nothing compared with the loss he felt because of his friends' deaths, he said.

Early Aug. 4, two vehicles collided on State Road 60 near Plant City. Each carried friends of Barnett. Two died: Nicholas Marcotrigiano, 18, and Haley Weatherly, 15.

A few hours after hearing the news, Barnett, his brother and two others decided to get memorial tattoos. Barnett was the first to go, that very day, to Art Explosion, a tattoo parlor in Brandon.

He sat from mid-afternoon until just before dark while an artist buzzed an ink-pumping needle into his chest.

When it was done, Barnett emerged with reddened skin around a 5-inch design on the left side of his upper chest proclaiming the date of the wreck and names of his dead friends over a wrench and a bouquet of flowers.

"The wrench is for Nick," Barnett said, "because I met him in auto tech. The flowers are for Haley because, well, she's Haley. It makes me have a connection to them. They always will be with me."

Barnett said he will never regret getting the $300 tattoo. So far, four of his friends have also undergone the process, he said, and a couple of others are considering it.

Brad Woods, owner of Art Explosion, said friends of the two Plant City teens have been in to get similar memorial body art.

"We've had five or six," Woods said. "We do memorial tattoos more than you would realize."

He estimates that a third of his business is tattooing names and portraits, half of which is memorializing loved ones who have died.

"It's a pretty happening thing nowadays," he said.

Designs spring from conversations with customers about the subject, and from there, artists draw freehand.

Woods said a client came in last week who never had a tattoo but wanted one to remember his brother, who was heavily tattooed. "So he got a half-sleeve," which covers the skin around the shoulder, front and back, to the elbow.

Grief And Remembrance

Memorial tattoos are good therapy for some and foolish, youthful impulsiveness for others, said Storch, who works with USF's Child and Adult Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Treatment Program in St. Petersburg.

"One of my views on tattooing," he said, "is that it might be very desirable at that particular point in time but that they may regret it at a later point. Tattoo removal, besides being very costly, leaves some scarring.

"I think many times with kids, teens and very young adults, their thought processes are all about immediate future. Tomorrow is the only thing that really matters, but they are making decisions that have permanent consequences."

His advice: "Wait a little bit; see how you feel in a few months. If you feel strongly about it then, start looking into it a little more. With some people, it's almost a compulsion. I would say, take a deep breath, wait and see how you feel in a few months."

Sometimes, a tattoo may help ease the grief, he said.

"It's a way of paying tribute, of letting people know that these people were important in their lives."

Still, he added, there are other ways.

"Some people have bumper stickers on their cars. That might be one way. People make donations; others make dedications. There are a variety of ways to pay tribute."

Numbers Murky

Memorial tattoos are nearly as old as the art of tattooing, artists say, but they've noticed a recent surge in their popularity.

It started four or five years ago for Lenny Welch, who runs Addicted 2 Tattoos on North Florida Avenue.

"I'd say it's about 20 to 30 percent of my business," Welch said.

A whole new motif has emerged in the body ink business: standard designs that leave room for names and dates.

"It gives a person something to look at," she said. "It keeps a memory alive. They don't want to forget them, and they think it does them honor when they put something permanent on their bodies."

Across town, at Artistic Armor on North 30th Street, manager Tim Kenney said memorial tattoos account for 15 percent to 20 percent of his business.

"We do a fair bit of them," Kenney said. "It's always been a thing."

He's seen a shift, though. Most of those seeking memorial tattoos are 16 to 20 years old.

"It's just more of a younger, urban type of kids who are doing it now."

Teens have to take special measures to get a tattoo, said Sailor Bill Johnson, executive director of the Alliance of Professional Tattooists in Maitland.

Customers younger than 18 must have notarized permission from parents under Florida law, and most shops require a parent be present when the customer is younger than 16.

The alliance has worked with the Florida Legislature to promote safety in the business while still allowing artists to prosper, he said. Two examples: Under Florida law, tattoo shops must contract with a medical doctor to oversee health safety practices, and artists must attend at least two educational seminars each year.

A Thought-Out Decision

Heidi Reed, a 35-year-old mother of two from Port St. Lucie, may represent those who gave careful thought before undergoing the needle.

Reed lost a baby in her eighth week of pregnancy in December. Nothing she did brought her comfort, not even the special angel ornament she bought for her Christmas tree.

"I wanted something more permanent," she said.

A memorial tattoo eased her mind.

It was her second piece of body art. The first was a flower on her ankle that had faded.

"I have one tattoo that means absolutely nothing," she said. "And I have one tattoo that means absolutely everything."

Reed was in shock at the death of her unborn child, then felt stifling grief set in. She tried talking her way through it with friends and family and prayed a lot. But the weight of her loss grew heavier.

She regretted never keeping the ultrasound picture of her baby. She had nothing of that child.

In January, she and her husband decided on a tattoo. It was a difficult decision.

An angel, sitting with its head resting on drawn-up knees, now adorns her upper back, squarely between her shoulder blades. The word "Angel Baby" is above, and "Forever" below.

"Until I die," Reed said, "it's here."

Reporter Keith Morelli can be reached at (813) 259-7760 or kmorelli@tampatrib.com.

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