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Moms Find New Reach

Tribune photo by JASON BEHNKEN

Anissa Mayhew shows pictures on her BlackBerry while with her daughter, Peyton, 5, at Lil' Tales play group at the Children's Cancer Center. "All this technology has become an everyday part of my life," Mayhew says.

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By RICHARD MULLINS

rmullins@tampatrib.com

Published: December 14, 2008

Updated: 12/14/2008 12:11 am

On any given day, you can find Anissa Mayhew texting away on her BlackBerry during her daughter's play dates. Or instant-messaging her husband, or posting photos to her family blog, chatting with friends on Web cams and writing online reviews about medications her children take.

That doesn't even count the online community she manages for parents of kids fighting cancer, or pictures of the party cookies she uploaded to Facebook - during the party.

If the world invented another gadget to help her family communicate, she would use it.

"All this technology has become an everyday part of my life," said Mayhew, a mother of three, simultaneously checking several of her instant message feeds. "It helps us all stay connected. Right now, my husband's working in Alabama, but on a moment-by-moment basis, he still knows what's going on with everyone."

Posting, texting and video-feeding like a multimedia professional, Mayhew is among a developing contingent of highly connected digital moms who are discovering ways to keep family across the country running smoothly and connected in deeper ways - for them, defining a new method of mothering.

And their power is starting to extend far beyond the homestead, as advertisers discover the power of "Mommy Bloggers," "WAHMs" (Work At Home Moms) and "Wireless Women on the Web" as a passionate, articulate and powerful social force to be respected.

Case in point: Hours after digital moms coalesced last month to protest a Web advertisement for Motrin they found offensive, Motrin executives replaced their company's main Web page with a profuse, day-long apology to the moms.

Family Control And Insight.

For these moms, technology is far more than entertainment.

Six years ago, Melissa Dippold-Brady started working at home full time as an analyst for Lockheed-Martin Corp. It was ideal for her life, but "It can be a very isolating experience ... Sometimes I catch myself and think 'Did I leave the house this week?'"

To break that isolation, she runs one computer full time for work, plus another computer runs with her Facebook page as a hub to connect four generations of her family: Two stepdaughters in Tennessee, her mother in Philadelphia and a grandmother in Englewood. Through that page, she quarterbacks family photos, videos, events and a torrent of messages.

And that doesn't include two cell phones, her kids' many Twitter message feeds and the Lakeland Mamas blog she created to gather other WAHMs in the area.

If the "dating status" on a daughter's Facebook page changed, "You'd be sure I'd be texting my husband about that." If the technology sounds impersonal, she offers this vignette.

Recently, she planned a family trip to Los Angeles with her stepdaughters. Like many teenagers, the girls had complaints and didn't seem altogether wowed, even by Hollywood.

"Then I saw their MySpace pages, and saw them messaging friends about how they had such a great time, were so glad they had the opportunity to go," she said. "For me as a new stepmom, that was meaningful."

Who Are These People?

As a demographic group, digital moms like her stand at an intersection of social trends.

More dual-income parents find their work/home lives blurring, and more spouses are dispersed across the country for work. Add to this a slew of new technology: Smart phones under $100, pervasive broadband Internet, cheap digital cameras, free blogging software and social media Web sites such as Facebook and MySpace.

More than half of married-with-children families now own two or more computers at home, and nearly half of those families have three or more cell phones, according to a study done in October by the Pew Internet and American Life Project.

Hyperconnected families in the Pew study said they feel more connected, talk more with one another, have more communal experiences online and even watch less TV. With each new child in such families, the number of messages expands exponentially.

If there's a drawback besides $100-a-month cell phone bills, Pew researchers found such hyperconnected families tend to eat dinner together less often, though that's likely a symptom of technology overcoming busy work lives than the other way around.

An Eye In The Kitchen

Lisa Hoover, a technology writer in Bradenton, takes that connection to a new level. She's set up a Web cam in her kitchen, and leaves a connection to her mother in Chicago running all day.

"Grandma can pop in and see what the kids are doing, making dinner, goofing around, and the kids can talk to Grandma anytime they like," Hoover said. "I don't have any other family in Florida, so this is a wonderful way to keep everyone connected."

Far from superficial, all the messaging gives her a deeper view into her kids' lives.

When she took her sons to serve at a homeless shelter, one son didn't seem too engaged or affected. But when she checked his messages to friends on Twitter, he talked about how sad it was to see kids his age without homes, and he wondered what happened to their parents. "It had a profound effect on him," Hoover said, "and I did not realize it until he started Tweeting about it."

Going Corporate

Corporate America should take heed.

Nearly 80 percent of mom bloggers review products online - and 94 percent respect reviews by other moms the most, according to a survey by the marketing agency Mom Central Consulting.

The blog aggregator Alltop .com now counts hundreds of blogs written by moms, with dozens more added each week: GoodMom/BadMom, WhiteTrashMom, RocksInMyDryer, MotherhoodIsTheNewMBA, TypeAMom, and one of the most well-known, Dooce.com, written by Heather Armstrong, who has attracted advertisers such as Microsoft, Best Buy and Norton.

Prompting 'That Conversation'

With all the growth in messaging, blogging and texting, it's inevitable some odd parenting moments will pop up.

Lisa Hoover was sending Twitter messages to clients recently, and mentioned pregnancy cravings. Her youngest noticed that message because he follows her Twitter feed.

"He came in and asked 'So how do people get pregnant?'" she said. "I thought 'Oh God, I'm not ready to have that talk with him yet.' Whoops."

THE WIRED MOM

Some favorite blogs and digital tools from moms interviewed for this story:

Blogs

TypeAMom.net: Written by an Atlanta-based mom

FoodieMama.com: For moms who like to eat

Moms.Alltop.com: Large list of mom-authored blogs

Dooce.com: One of the most popular mom blogs

WhiteTrashMom.com: Perfect motherhood is a big lie and a subject worth mocking

Lakelandmamas.blogspot.com: Geared for work-at-home moms in Lakeland

www.Hope4Peyton.org: Gathering point for moms of children fighting cancer

www.BabyCenter.com, ParentCenter.com: Both elaborate sites that offer advice based on age

MomShare.net: Aggregator of news that moms like

www.MomBlogNetwork.com: A collective of mom bloggers

Tools

Google Calendar: Easy-to-use online calendars to organize family events

BlackBerry Curve: Smart phone now selling for $99 at many providers, with contract

iPhone: Now selling for $199 (8Gig) or $299 (16Gig), with contract

Twitter.com: Popular short messaging service

MySpace; Facebook: The most popular social networking sites

Reporter Richard Mullins can be reached at (813) 259-7919.

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