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A Surrealistic Reunion

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: December 26, 2008

About one or two years before a woman opens up the birthday card that reads, "Lordy Lordy look who is 40," she has another day of reckoning. It's called the somewhat surrealistic 20-year high school reunion.

I have had reoccurring dreams about my Maryland childhood for years. I've dreamt about missing the school bus, being forced to play my French horn, even though I can't remember how, and driving a car up a steep hill on a country back road only to have the car fall upside down.

Maybe my reunion experience was more profound because I have not lived in Maryland since 1988. I loved driving by my parent's old house, which looks incredibly smaller probably because it is. I hoped to visit with our old neighbor, Mrs. Amberman, but sadly, no one was home.

Fired up to look my best, I tried to drop a few pounds before the reunion. Since that effort failed, I opted for black. Most of the women at the reunion looked more beautiful than ever. While I recognized all the women, I would not have recognized most of the men without their high school yearbook photos attached to their shirts.

They played retro 1980s songs as we gathered in a special banquet area at the elegant Manor Tavern. I used to work at the Manor Tavern, which was located in horse country on land that was once the home of the Piscantaway Indians. Not a gifted "water girl," I remember accidentally pouring water on a man's lap instead of into his glass.

At least it was not ketchup. I used to place the plastic ketchup bottles in my pockets as a waitress at Friendly's Ice Cream store. Leaning against the table, the ketchup sprayed a customer.

I attended the reunion so I could drive past old houses and the old mall where I spent my teen years, sure, but also to see old faces. All of the men were down to earth. A few of the women had snooty attitudes, but not many. I asked one woman how she was doing.

"I've traveled the world, and you," she said, turning her back to me before I could respond.

A few people had too much to drink. Married with two children, I knew better than to drink anything other than ginger ale.

I'm not exactly sure why I was so nervous about seeing this group of people who seemed to have little in common other than having attended Hereford High School. Some of the people were my classmates since kindergarten or first grade. I thought of the name Addison for my son because I went to school with an Addison, although the classmate is female. She now lives in her parent's old house, and is a school teacher with a husband and three beautiful children.

I spoke with another classmate who could have been anything, but chose to become a special needs teacher. Then there was the geeky girl who is now a successful engineer.

A classmate named Bruce told me he built his own house with his own hands. That impressed me. Bruce asked me what one person I was most motivated to see again. I said I was happy to see my friend, Cathy. Cathy made me feel good by telling me what a good friend I had been to her in high school. As a "gifted and talented" student with only a handful of people in her classes, Cathy did not have the chance to know many people in high school.

I, on the other hand, met a cross section of people. Some people define success as having money or being thin. I admired the ones who went into teaching to help children or are raising their own children. In the case of a friend who was divorced and did not have children, I admired more the fact that she was warm, friendly and fun as well as beautiful. We laughed at her silly 1980s hairstyle. Didn't the clothing styles make everyone look awful in the 80s?

Ultimately, attending my 20-year high school reunion helped me find a bit of closure. One classmate pointed out how we grew up in an interesting time. Nancy Reagan encouraged us to "just say no." Some of us had hippie teachers and hippie parents. Some of us went to the "open space" elementary schools without letter grades or walls. The class of '88. We turned out, I think, just fine.

Laura Cone, an editor with Media General, writes about fun, family and turning 40. She may be reached at lcone@mediageneral.com.

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