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Life's Lessons At 50

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: February 2, 2008

I turned 50 last month, and my birthday came and went with very little fanfare.

That's not to say that we didn't celebrate. Some buddies and I got together to play golf and have a great dinner, and I was showered with presents from my wife and kids. What I mean is that no critical parts fell off my body, nor did I lose any critical brain function. It was just another day in the steady, relentless progression of time.

So what does it mean to turn 50? I've been doing a lot of thinking about it, and frankly I don't think it means squat. However, there is one pronounced indisputable fact about growing older, which I gleaned from the television show "thirtysomething." To paraphrase, "As you grow older, you become invisible to teenage girls." Don't get me wrong ... it's not that I have any interest in teenage girls, but it does become discouraging to realize that you have come to look like their grandfathers.

I'll tell you something else that bugs me. I was in the grocery store last week, trying to make my way through an aisle clogged with shopping carts. I eased by a woman, excusing myself. Realizing she had been blocking most of the aisle, she said, "Oh I'm sorry, sir! Let me move my cart out of the way."

Boy, that really frosted me. Sir? Sir? This woman had to be 50 years old herself! How old did she think I was?

That's when it occurred to me that we all see ourselves pretty much at a static age. When I look in the mirror I see the same guy that I saw last week, last year, even 10 years ago. From the inside looking out, I'll always be 25. That woman at the grocery store is still 25 inside too, and I probably look older than dirt to her.

This also explains our constant confusion over the behavior of our children. "How come they dress like that?" "Why do they like that awful rap music?" "How could they possibly think that movie was any good?" After all, we're not that much older than they are, are we? Oh, crap, we are.

So, what have I learned from my half-century of life? I've learned that being older doesn't make you wiser. I've learned that it's more fun to hang out at home with friends and family, grill a steak and have a glass of wine than it is to dress up and spend $500 on dinner.

I've learned that beautiful women aren't all about blonde hair and bikinis (not that I'm against that). I've learned that working isn't all about making money (not that I'm against that, either), but it's also about having fun, being proud of what you do and respecting the people with whom you work.

I've also learned that old age is not your enemy ... the acceptance of it is. I go to the gym almost daily, walk, play golf and watch what I eat to keep old age at bay. It's a battle I'll eventually lose, but not without a fight.

Finally, do you know what I have learned is the absolute worst thing about growing older? It completely ruins my favorite expression, which I tend to utter whenever people don't move quite as fast as I'd like: "While we're young!" Crap.

Jim Dyal is a real estate developer.

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