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Some Adoptive Parents Feel Abandoned By State

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By YVETTE C. HAMMETT, The Tampa Tribune

Published: February 13, 2008

Updated: 02/13/2008 12:15 am

BRANDON - Vonnie Largent recalls her alarm upon discovering that her 12-year-old son was sleeping with a metal rod in his bed, fearing his older adopted sister would sneak into his bedroom while the family slept and kill him.

The teenager twice has tried to poison her father by saving up her anti-psychotic medications and dumping them into his drinks, Largent said. At various times, Largent said, she has threatened to kill the entire family.

One of four children in Vonnie and Arthur Largents' home in Lithia, the teen is too mentally unstable to live with her family, her mother said. She is one of eight children the Largents have adopted from the Florida Department of Children & Families.

To keep the family safe and help the girl cope with her disabilities, the Largents pay $1,200 a month to keep her in group homes. They get no financial help from the state.

If they give her back to DCF to get her long-term help, they could be charged by law enforcement with abandonment.

Dozens of adoptive parents in the Tampa Bay area, like the Largents, are banding together to get help for their families. They are unwilling to relinquish their children but desperately want to get them the help they need.

The two major hurdles they are trying to overcome are the absence of substantial financial help from the state for long-term care and roadblocks that prevent parents from knowing a child's history.

State officials acknowledge gaps in the system and say they are working to institute legislative changes, including offering full disclosure of children's histories.

Financially And Emotionally Drained

Such disclosures could prevent other parents from enduring the nightmare Cheryl Holley of South Tampa described during a recent advocacy summit for adoptive parents in Lakeland.
Holley broke down as she recounted her experience.

She had no clue when she adopted her son eight years ago that he had suffered severely at the hands of sexual abusers. She found out only after taking him to a psychiatrist.

"He is an adolescent pedophile, is bipolar, schizophrenic; he has frontal lobe damage from abuse and has fetal alcohol syndrome," Holley said.

The psychiatrist has told her he is too dangerous to live among the general public.

To date, she said, she has spent tens of thousands of dollars seeking treatment for her son. The cost has drained her finances and, she said, the emotional trauma consumes her life.

"There was no disclosure," said Holley, who adopted her son from West Virginia through a private attorney in Florida. The little that she did learn about the boy's history, she said, came from people who knew the boy's mother.

"I wanted to be a mom so badly," she said. "I thought one plus one equals a happy home, but that just isn't so.

Because her son is considered a special-needs child, he qualifies for services from DCF including Medicare and institutional treatment. However, the agency won't pay for his long-term care unless Holley gives him back to the state. "I am forced to abandon him to get him the long-term help," she said. She is scheduled to be arraigned in circuit court Feb. 26 and charged with abandonment.

Meanwhile, her son is in a group foster home in New Port Richey and is not receiving any therapy, she said. She visits him once a week.

"They'll give me college money for him," Holley said, "but let's face it, a lot of these kids aren't going to college. Why not use the money to get them the treatment they need?"

The threat of abandonment charges is not uncommon, said Renee Walker, director of The Sylvia Thomas Center for Adoptive and Foster Families in Brandon.

"It's the state's way of keeping parents off the front door."

Even with that threat, parents give children back to the state in 11 percent of adoptions, Walker said. Many more families flounder, with little information on how to care for their troubled children. No one keeps track of just how many, she said.

Walker, whose center works to keep adoptive families together, said the state pushes people to adopt children who are broken in so many ways, then fails to disclose their histories to the new parents. Once problems surface, she said, the state expects the parents to pay for long-term medical and mental health care - something that can bankrupt an average family.

"It's a crisis situation," Largent said. "It's no help from the state. It's nothing. Love is not enough."

Working with advocacy groups such as the Sylvia Thomas Center, a group of adoptive parents is pushing for a Florida law requiring the state "to be morally and financially obligated" to help adoptive families find and pay for medical, developmental and mental health services for special-needs children. It also wants the state to stop forcing parents to abandon children in exchange for long-term care.

"It should be a partnership," Walker said, "not an adversarial situation."

Some Legislative Help Possible

The issue is getting attention in Tallahassee.

DCF Secretary Bob Butterworth has accepted a recommendation from his child protection task force and will promote a bill in the upcoming legislative session requiring full disclosure to foster and adoptive parents.

"It will be part of a child protection reform bill," George Sheldon, DCF safety director, said last week.

The bill also would open records to the children once they're old enough to leave the foster care system, he said.

He cited a recent case in which DCF settled for $10 million after a couple sued. He said the couple adopted three boys who had been victims of sexual abuse, information the parents were not given. The boys had extreme issues, Sheldon said. "They probably need lifetime therapy."

"Parents have a right to know," he said. "And if they know that history, they are in a better position to deal with it."

Sheldon said he will research the issue of giving parents access to long-term services without forcing them to abandon their children. "Clearly, it is something we'd be willing to look at," he said.

State Sen. Ronda Storms, R-Valrico, said she is crafting a bill that would add leeway for local children's boards in determining when to extend services for troubled foster and adoptive children.

"The local children's boards just need more flexibility," said Storms, chairwoman of the Legislature's Committee on Children, Families and Elder Affairs. "If we put these little, shattered children back together earlier, we will reap the benefits in the future."

The Children's Board of Hillsborough County is working with DCF to get more money for post-adoptive services, said Amy Petrila, the board's policy and advocacy director.

DCF has requested $1.4 million in its budget for post-adoptive services in the coming year, and Hillsborough County likely will receive $75,000 of that, Petrila said.

State Rep. Dean Cannon, R-Winter Park, also is proposing legislation requiring the state to provide adoptive parents with full disclosure of medical histories and treatment for mental health disorders and anything else children have been treated for.

Lack Of Disclosure Hinders Care

Susan Bailey could have used that information.

Bailey, of Town 'N Country, adopted four siblings in 2005. One of them, a girl, has a history of drug addiction and molesting other children, Bailey said. She is a chronic runaway who is missing.

Bailey's gut instinct told her the girl had issues, "but my case worker denied everything," she said.

Bailey has had the teen removed from her home three times, but she said the only way to get her long-term care is to relinquish her rights.

She said several people involved in adoption services warned her that if she does that, she will be charged with abandonment and risk losing the other three children.

"And once you are charged with child abandonment, you can never foster or adopt again," she said.

For Rhonda Gary-Jackson's son, it may be too late. The 14-year-old sits in a Hillsborough County jail charged as an adult with sexual assault on an elderly person.

Gary-Jackson, of Tampa, is relinquishing her parental rights. Because the boy is in jail, she said, she won't be charged with abandonment.

"They gave me his psychological history, but nothing about his anger issues," she said. "We have a lack of full disclosure and a lack of options. The state needs to keep a co-parenting role instead of divorcing itself from these children once an adoption is finalized."

Reporter Yvette C. Hammett can be reached at (813) 657-4532 or yhammett@tampatrib.com.

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