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Clearwater Has Its Own Version Of Jean Valjean

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By DANIEL RUTH, The Tampa Tribune

Published: February 23, 2008

Gadzooks, at the rate things are going you have to wonder if Clearwater geezerette Jean Merola will ultimately end up facing charges of offing Jimmy Hoffa, stealing those Swiss artworks and being the mastermind behind the Medellin Cartel.

Perhaps this is the price you eventually pay for being an old coot with all the social graces of Barry Bonds.

And to think it all began for want of a french fry.

On Jan. 17, 75-year-old Merola drove her Lincoln Town Car into the drive-through lane of the McDonald's fast food bistro on Hercules Avenue and requested an order of saltless french fries, which has to be a bit like thinking washing down a Big Mac with a Diet Coke will make all that much of a healthy difference in the calorie count.

Apparently requesting fries without the salt at a McDonald's sends the staff into something of a tizzy, akin to walking into the Tiny Tap and ordering a Pellegrino water.

And thus, Merola was asked to pull her car off to the side while the McDonald's crew tried to fulfill her order.

Fast Feud

Stuck behind the elderly woman was Clearwater Police Officer Matthew Parco, who had just received his ice coffee when he realized he was blocked in by Merola's car.

What followed might best be described as a fast feud.

When Parco tried to get Merola to move her car, the Tugboat Annie of Clearwater launched into litany of hectoring, insisting she was pals with all manner of city big shots and yada, yada, yada.

Even after receiving her fries, Merola refused to move her car, which eventually prompted an exasperated Parco to handcuff and charge the senior citizen from hell with disorderly conduct.

To be sure, the arrest of an old coot over what could be described as a french fry imbroglio caused headlines across the country with Parco being held up as a big bad meanie picking on some frail, aged woman.

Still, if Merola had been some 20-year-old punk who had mouthed off to Parco, public opinion overwhelmingly would have supported the officer's actions.

New Charges

Now the state attorney's office has decided to drop the disorderly conduct count against the Don Rickles of Clearwater, preferring instead to recharge Merola with a new crime spree: obstruction of a public place.

Gracious, at this pace Merola may have a bigger mug shot portfolio than Lindsay Lohan.

Not to come off as soft on crime, but isn't pursuing a 75-year-old woman with all the good manners of Elijah Dukes beginning to border on turning Merola into Clearwater's answer to "Les Miserables'" Jean Valjean - hunted and hounded simply because of a french fry?

To date, Jean Merola, admittedly because of her own doing, has been handcuffed, taken to jail, held for several hours and exposed to the world as a charmless, humorless, old curmudgeon.

Shouldn't that be punishment enough for this sour elderly woman? Aren't there more important crimes to pursue?

And isn't dragging this unfortunate soul needlessly through the courts only rubbing more salt into her - french fries?

Keyword: Book of Ruth to read and comment on Daniel Ruth's blog.

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