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'Blade: Dimbulb' Coming Soon To Town Near You

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By Daniel Ruth

Published: January 1, 2008

He almost had it right when actor and silly person Wesley Snipes, through his mouthpieces, claimed he could not get a fair trial in Ocala on tax evasion charges because the jury pool is tainted by prejudice.

Snipes is scheduled to go on trial this month on federal charges he played footsie-wootsie with his 1996-97 income tax returns, fraudulently claiming some $12 million in refunds.

The fading movie star, whose recent film career might be titled "Demolition Man," is also accused of failure to file his IRS returns from 1999 through 2004.

As part of all the pretrial mischief that often takes place in high-profile cases, Snipes' lawyers attempted to argue for a change of venue because their client couldn't possibly receive a fair hearing before a jury since Ocala is such a racist community.

Before you could say, "Gallowwalker," U.S. District Judge William Hodges tossed the apartheid Ocala argument and ordered the trial to proceed on schedule, which might suggest Snipes probably ought not to commit to any long-range projects, unless it's doing research for "The Michael Vick Story."

Koo Klutz Klan

Snipes' billable hours of barristers argued that since there is a statue in the middle of Ocala of Confederate Lt. Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest, who also helped found the Koo Klutz Klan, it was clear the city engaged in racist tendencies.

But given the quality of most Florida public school history education, it's just as likely hardly anybody in Ocala has the faintest clue about the seedy Forrest's rather tawdry historical connection to redneck bigots in sheets.

In reality and in fairness, you could certainly make an argument that Ocala is populated by racists in percentages no more and/or no less than any other city in Florida, or the country for that matter.

And besides, isn't it the job of Snipes' crackerjack team of attorneys to ferret out individuals who may harbor discriminatory attitudes during the jury selection process?

Tax Code Chucklehead

If Snipes has to worry about jurors possessing a possible bias toward him, it probably has to be something remotely associated with regarding as complete chuckleheads people who make up their own federal tax code.

For Snipes is in his current criminal pickle because he got involved with an anti-tax protest group of imbeciles called the American Rights Litigators, founded by Eddie Ray Kahn along with tax preparer Douglas P. Rosile Jr.

It was these folks who persuaded Snipes he only had to pay taxes on income from foreign sources. The Internal Revenue Service is not amused by this fiddle-faddle, thus explaining why Snipes' next movie could well be "Blade: Leavenworth."

In his prime, Snipes commanded upward of $8 million a movie. Or put another way, since his breakout performance in "Major League" in 1989, the actor had on gone to make some 40 other films.

And yet for all his apparent wealth, the thespian was unwilling or unable to hire reputable, professional tax and financial consultants to manage his business affairs?

This could be a problem.

To be sure, Wesley Snipes is entitled to a jury of his peers. But will it be possible to find 12 village idiots in Ocala to sit in judgment of him? Uh-oh.

Keyword: Book of Ruth, to read and comment on Daniel Ruth's blog.

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