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Who Knew We Needed This Law?

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By DANIEL RUTH | The Tampa Tribune

Published: January 5, 2008

You can be reasonably assured this is one new law that will not have an elaborate signing ceremony by Charlie Crist surrounded by Cheshire cat-grinning glad-handers standing proudly behind the governor as he proclaims what a great day this is for Florida's goats.

And, oh, by the way, this bill will be passed. After all, what state legislator wants to be accused of being soft on bestiality? Not exactly a real political career booster - unless, of course, you represent Walton County, perhaps?

Who knew? Who could have possibly imagined Florida did not have a law against bestiality? Then again, who knew we needed one?

State Rep. Frank Peterman, D-St. Petersburg, and state Sen. Nan Rich, D-Sunrise, have filed bills that would make it illegal for anyone to "knowingly" commit bestiality.

Uh, not to split hairs here, but how much booze does one need to consume to "unknowingly" commit bestiality? This also probably doesn't speak well of the available dating pool in Walton County.

Double Dating

As well, the Peterman/Rich legislation would make it a felony to knowingly cause or aid or give permission to another person to commit bestiality, which is probably the pols' way of discouraging double dating.

Walton County plays an influential role in the proposed law (how proud they must be), because it was in this Panhandle community where Meg, a pregnant pet goat, was raped and killed late in 2006 in Mossy Head.

Memo to self: Make sure to never run out of gas in Walton County, especially during "'Deliverance' Festival Week."

Although human DNA was recovered from Meg, no arrests have been made. There was, however, a brief run on T-shirts which read: "What happens in Mossy Head, Stays In Mossy Head." That was not a joke, unfortunately.

Memo to self: Come to think of it, just detour all the way around Walton County, especially during "'You Got A Pretty Mouth' Festival Week."

Low-Rent Felon

Putting aside for just a moment how terrifying it would be to find yourself the cellmate of the Walton County goat rapist, you have to suspect that, in the food chain of criminality, being convicted of bestiality has to be about as low-rent as a felon can go.

Really now, after, "Your honor, my client is simply a sick, twisted, perverted, sleazy, scary waste of human flesh," what other defense options would someone who did this to an animal have to offer up to a jury?

It's merely a suggestion, but once Peterman and Rich get their bills passed, they might consider building on the legislative momentum to push through a proposal to have Walton County declared a suburb of nearby adjoining Alabama.

This wasn't just an animal that was sexually assaulted. It was a family's pet. And this wasn't just some creepy fiend who raped and killed her, it was someone who lives in the community and likes to do this kind of stuff.

Who would have ever thought state legislators would have to sponsor what is in effect a codicil to "Megan's Law," to protect animals from the sexual perversions of human beings?

But they did - because they had to, in 2008, in Florida. Sigh.

Keyword: Book of Ruth to read and comment on Daniel Ruth's blog.

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