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By WALT BELCHER

The Tampa Tribune

Published: July 6, 2008

TAMPA - TAMPA - "When my stepdad went to Iraq, half of my heart went with him," says Michael, a teenager who lives on the Army base at Fort Stewart, Ga.

And when his stepfather comes home on leave, it's "like getting that one Christmas present I've always wanted," he says.

Michael has stepped up to help his mother care for his two younger brothers because she is "on an emotional roller-coaster ride" when her husband is fighting in that distant war.

Another Michael, a 10-year-old in California, remembers the day in 2004 when three Marines showed up to tell the family that his father, a communications officer, wasn't coming home.

"I know my dad is in a better place, but I wish he was still here because when he died, a chunk of my heart was basically pulled out," he says.

The two Michaels are among several children of military families who share their experiences on "Coming Home: When Parents Return From War," a Nick News special debuting at 9 tonight on Nickelodeon.

While this special is aimed at tweens and teens, it is recommended for all Americans.

More than any previous conflict in American history, the fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq has been faceless efforts in the media, fought by generic "troops" who usually are only mentioned as part of death tallies.
Nick News producer and host Linda Ellerbee says "it's easy to talk about 'our troops,' but these are actual human beings, men and women, many of whom have kids."

"We wanted to honor them for their bravery and sacrifice and not just the parents; in many cases, kids in military families have to stop being kids and take on grown-up responsibilities," she said in a recent telephone interview.

Coming off Fourth of July celebrations, "Coming Home" hits home. It brings a tear to the eye and puts a lump in the throat when these kids speak of their fears, their hopes and their pride.

"I've been doing this for 18 years, and children always impress me with their honesty, their courage, their wisdom and hope," Ellerbee says. "When a parent is deployed to a war zone, the children have to be as brave as any soldier."

The half-hour program also includes children and parents who are coping with post-traumatic stress disorder and life-altering injuries.

Kelly, 16, and Ethan, 14, who live in North Carolina, talk about how their lives have changed since their father lost a leg in Iraq.

"He came back with anger issues, but things have gotten better," Kelly says. "It's still a work in progress, and we take it one day at a time."

Ethan was worried at first that his father wouldn't be able to play soccer with him anymore, but now he proudly shows off his father's array of artificial legs.

Their father says he is thankful Kelly and Ethan are so patient and understanding.

One of the most emotional interviews is with Michael and Cody, teens from Ohio trying to cope with a father who has returned from Iraq suffering from depression.

"I feel like my dad doesn't want me anymore," says Michael. Cody, his sister, says she used to be close to her father, but now he is distant.

Frustrated, their mother says, "There is a whole lot of Iraq in him and a whole lot of Iraq in my kids, and it shouldn't be in my family and in my house."

Gen. Bill Caldwell, commanding general at the U.S. Army Combined Arms Center, tells Ellerbee that this war is being fought by troops who are older than in previous wars and many of them have families. Also, there are a lot of mothers on the battlefront.

He says it is hard for children who have to worry about the safety of a parent who is away for long periods of time in a combat zone. It gets harder when the parent comes home changed by war.

Ellerbee says that while there can be disagreements about the war, there can be no questioning the genuine bravery and sacrifices of the American soldiers - and their families.

She also urges parents to watch this program with their children.

"We want these news specials to be a starting point for families to start talking about any kind of problem that is tough to face, like divorce, or racism or bullying," she says.

While "Coming Home" tackles some tough emotional issues, the children's pride and love for their parents comes through. When a soldier's daughter proclaims that "My dad is awesome!" it just makes us all proud.

ON TELEVISION

Coming Home: When Parents Return

From War

WHAT: A Nick News special on children of military families

WHEN: 9 tonight

WHERE: Nickelodeon

Reporter Walt Belcher can be reached at (813) 259-7654 or wbelcher@tampatrib.com.

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