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Stories, Puppets, Jelly Beans Comfort Grieving Children

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By KLINT LOWRY

The Suncoast News

Published: July 8, 2008

NEW PORT RICHEY - Puppets, jelly beans, goodie bags and Beanie Babies are all part of the Mending Hearts Program, which helps children to get through one of life's most intensely sad and unavoidable experiences: the loss of a loved one.

Gulfside Regional Hospice bereavement counselors Sonia Quinones, Debbie LaBouef and Kristen Kern have found that well-crafted fun and games are among the best ways to teach youngsters to handle their grief.

"Children learn from stories and they learn through games, especially kids under 13, and they learn through play," Quinones said.

"This is an interactive kind of situation where the kids can participate. They can ask questions. We felt this would be a nice way to teach them about loss and to express their feelings."

The centerpiece of the presentation is a puppet show featuring Rhonda the Rabbit and Tommy the Turtle.

"We have a great system," said LaBouef, who gives voice to Rhonda. "Kristen stays on the outside, and there's two of us in back."

Before the show is a story-reading session tailored to the age of the audience. It gives the children a sense of what the presentation is about while allowing the presenters to size up their audience as a group and as individuals.

As the person in front of the curtain, Kern can cue LaBouef's character, who asks the youngsters questions and guides the flow of the presentation.

"They hear Rhonda and Tommy talking about their story and it kind of lets them know it's OK to feel this way, it's OK to talk about grief," Kern said. "It really opens the door for them."

Presentations vary depending on the circumstances. Sometimes, the children are there specifically because they have recently lost a loved one. In other situations, such as school visits, the program is more generalized and educational.

"We find most children have had a loss at a very early age," Quinones said. "If they lose a pet, they go through the same grieving process."

But even if they haven't experienced a death, the program helps them learn how to talk to classmates who have.

"Lots of times they might not have talked about it before, because they might not have known what to say to this child who just came back to school after Grandma died," Kern said. "You would be surprised how compassionate the other kids will be to that kid while they're watching the show."

The third part of the presentation, the jelly bean game, is where the children are most free to express themselves. They take turns reaching into a plastic pail and pulling out laminated cardboard "jelly beans." The color dictates the emotion to be discussed.

The hospice has had some variation of the Mending Hearts presentation for about eight years, but it is only in the past few months the staff has taken the show on the road. Instead of reaching 25 to 30 children a month, they now reach about 90.

"We go to the elementary schools, libraries," said Quinones, Gulfside's director of bereavement. "We go anywhere there's need and we're requested."

FIND OUT MORE

The Gulfside Regional Hospice bereavement department offers free support groups and counseling for individuals, children, parents and those who recently experienced a loss. For information, call (727) 844-3946 in west Pasco or (813) 780-1235 in east Pasco.

A Mending Hearts program will be presented at 11 a.m. July 25 at the New Port Richey Public Library, 5939 Main St. Call (727) 853-1265 for details.

Klint Lowry can be reached at klowry@suncoastnews.com or (727) 815-1067.

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