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Don't Despair; There Is Help

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By CAMILLE BEREDJICK

The Tampa Tribune

Published: July 13, 2008

Dear Friend:

There's this thing that's been hovering over me lately, gnawing into my mind like a bad dream. It's an empty desk where a peer once sat or a phone call never returned. It's the startlingly high rate of suicide in this country, and it's really scary.

I know what you're thinking, my friend. You think suicide is an easy out, a quick getaway from a world where you don't belong. But you're not alone.

Every 16 minutes, someone in the United States takes his or her own life, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. That's about 80 per day; more than 32,000 per year.

Thirty-two thousand people. Now, multiply each one by the numbers of heartbroken parents, grief-stricken friends, and a multitude of confused classmates, co-workers or neighbors. This is no little problem.

What's causing this tragic phenomenon? You've got me there.

Many have argued that using prescription drugs, usually antidepressants, can increase the risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors, especially in teenagers. The results from lengthy studies have often been contradictory, but some scientists believe there is a link between certain mental disorders, the use of antidepressants and increased risk of suicide.

Others say suicide is a result of a chemical imbalance that can be hereditary; namely, suicidal tendencies could run in the family. This theory is a bit harsh, and I personally don't want to believe it. I like to think that we each control our own fates, despite our relatives' and ancestors' decisions.

But most likely, the reasoning behind suicide is a tendency to succumb to depression over logic, an incorrect assumption that you'd be better off without this world, and it without you.

Again, my friend, you are sadly mistaken.

Take Megan Meier, the 13-year-old who hanged herself after an "Internet friend" named Josh told her the world would be better off without her. Trapped in a world of middle school drama where she wasn't fortunate enough to be the most popular, she followed what she thought was a common sentiment. Her community faced a rude awakening when it was revealed that "Josh" was actually the mother of a girl who used to be Megan's friend.

This woman has been threatened by people who knew Megan and even strangers, and Megan's parents have received condolences from across the nation. But nothing can bring back their little girl, and all we can do is ensure that history won't repeat itself.

And it hits close to home when it happens to someone you know.

My dear friend Helen lost her cousin Shauny to suicide a little more than a year ago. He had just turned 34 and felt that he was constantly hurting his loved ones because he wasn't a good person, though Helen swears this is far from the truth.

Losing a family member this way has proven to her just how many people are affected by this single decision, and I admire her greatly for becoming a better person after it.

I'm fortunate enough to have never lost anyone in such a horrible way, but I still cringe when I hear a classmates say "Go kill yourself" as a joke. They haven't seen the look on the face of someone like Helen when she hears something similar. They don't understand that it's not a joke.

I know what it's like to want an escape. You're sad and scared, and you've forgotten how to feel anything but alone. Maybe you're not the smartest or best-looking, or you're living a life swamped with meaningless deadlines or dreams yet to take wing. You think nobody notices you now, and they won't notice you when you're gone. But we've all been there, and you can get through it.

Countless groups and organizations are working to increase awareness of suicide and its warning signs. Personally, I'm a huge follower of To Write Love On Her Arms, a rapidly growing nonprofit organization started by a few friends in Florida in 2006.

The original goal of the group was to print and sell a few T-shirts to raise money for a friend's drug treatment. It has expanded to a forum for finding help and sharing tales of hope about overcoming depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. Their motto is "Love is the movement," and I believe in it wholeheartedly.

If you're feeling suicidal, talk to a counselor, parent or friend - there is enough love in this world worth living for.

Victims who turn to suicide as a solution never get the chance to explain themselves, resolve their struggles, or truly speak their minds. The cycle will continue until we put a stop to it, and a revolution can start with one person - you don't have to be another suicide statistic.

Dear friend, help is on the way.

Camille Beredjick is a student at Chamberlain High School.

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