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Ah, Shucks! Vacation Opens Up A Pearl Of Wisdom

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By TONY "FATSO" SICILIANO

The Tampa Tribune

Published: July 16, 2008

There are so many things to love about summer; the warm weather, the grilling outdoors every night and the coveted summer vacation. If I had to define myself, I would fall into the "homebody" group.

Once or twice a year, if I can get away for a couple of days, I champ at the bit to get out of town. The great irony for me, though, is that by the end of the vacation, I am just as excited to get back home as I was to leave in the first place.

My wife and I are the perfect couple in so many ways; we complement each other wonderfully, even when we travel. I like to drive; she likes to sleep while I drive. The whole thing always seems to work out great.

But when it comes to choosing where to go, it's a different story. My bride of almost seven years likes to go places to relax, rest and rejuvenate. I, on the other hand, want to go on a vacation to eat. What are the local foods? What are the famous unique restaurants in town, and how can I eat in as many of them as possible while I am there?

Keeping my wife's preferences and my appetite in mind, I thought it would be clever to take her on a "surprise vacation." I let her know that we would be going out of town and I gave her a rough idea of what she should pack. The only clues I gave her were that we were driving to our destination and that since it was the middle of July, she probably wouldn't need a coat.

Confusion Overpowers Surprise

We piled into the car at 4:30 a.m. I have to admit my wife was a pretty good sport, but as our final destination came into view, the overwhelming look of surprise that I hoped for was more like a look of confusion.

When I first pulled in front of the inn where I had made our reservations, my wife thought we needed to refill the tank and she pointed out the gas station across the street. I proudly told her we had finally arrived at our "Surprise Vacation Destination," beautiful Apalachicola, the "Pearl of the Panhandle." (I just made that slogan up. The chamber of commerce is free to use it.)

My wife had no idea where we were, so I quickly made a map of Florida with my left hand. The knuckle on my index finger is Tampa Bay; my wrist is Georgia; and the knuckle on my thumb is Apalachicola. The town was quiet and quaint. The Gibson Inn, where we stayed, was built in 1907 and was beautiful. This sleepy little seaside town had everything my wife looked for in a vacation.

Secretly, my real motive for choosing Apalachicola was the local cuisine: oysters.

I love eating oysters. Before my trip, I had known only one way to eat them: raw. Just slide a live oyster on a cracker, squirt on some cocktail sauce and enjoy a squishy piece of heaven.

If you're not familiar with oysters, don't let their appearance scare you. A raw oyster resembles something that looks like it would come out of an ox's nose, but, trust me, they really are a treat. I have eaten my fair share of oysters, but never were they as large or as fresh as in Apalachicola.

As you travel from St. George Island into town over the Apalachicola River, you can see dozens of small boats with men standing on the edge with two rakes in their hands harvesting oysters. When the oystermen unload their boats, local restaurants get first dibs on buying them. The oysters I had for lunch might have been caught a couple hundred yards away earlier that day.

At one restaurant, I saw the cook taking a break. I went up to him to give him my compliments on a great meal. Our conversation quickly turned to - what else? - oysters. He goes on to tell me that as great as the oysters are raw, there is a whole new oyster experience waiting for me when I put them on the grill. I tried to get him to give me his recipe, but he clammed up like, well ... an oyster. He told me that once you have them on the grill, you can finish them with whatever you like; just let your creativity and taste buds run wild. When it comes to cooking oysters on your grill, the world is truly your oyster!

No Fishy Smell

It all starts with the oyster; look for fresh live ones. They should be closed tightly and there should be no fishy smell. If you can open the shell with your hands or if there is an aroma, the oyster is dead and should not be eaten.

Always rinse them under cold running water and brush any algae or growth that might be on the outside of the shell. Preheat your grill for direct high heat. When the grill is ready, place the oysters flat side down and close the lid. The grill does most of the work from here.

After three minutes, open the lid; the oysters should have opened while over the heat. Carefully remove the oysters from the grill; the shells will be very hot. Now just take the top part of the shells off.

If the oyster didn't open and you have to shuck it, you can grab the shell with a heavy-duty glove and use a blunt flat instrument to sever the muscle holding the two sides together. I used a flathead screwdriver.

Pour out any remaining liquid if you like and create something unique using ingredients you love. Parmesan cheese, melted butter and some bread crumbs, maybe. You could whip up creamed spinach and scoop that on top of the oyster meat. Anything you like to eat, or think you'd like to eat with an oyster, you can use.

Once you have the oysters covered with whatever toppings you like, reduce your heat to medium and throw them back onto the grill. Let them cook shell side down for another eight minutes or so.

Everyone can create their own recipe for grilled oysters; the combinations are limitless.

This week, I am back to work. The vacation that took so long to get here flew by in an instant. Looking back, we had a great time. My wife got her relaxation and I got my food. Even though I didn't find a pearl, I discovered a couple of new ways to enjoy an oyster, a true Florida treasure.

TONY FATSO'S EXTREME OYSTERS

1 dozen fresh Apalachicola oysters

1 teaspoon of garlic powder

1 cup of shredded cheddar cheese

A bottle of hot sauce

6 strips of bacon, cooked crispy and crumbled

Preheat your grill for direct high heat. Put oysters on the grill for three minutes to open up the shells. Remove oysters from grill and take off the top shell portion. Toss the garlic powder with the shredded cheese. On each half-shelled oyster, squirt on a couple of shots of the hot sauce to taste, then plop on a big pinch of crumbled bacon and cover it with the cheese and garlic powder mix. Put the shell back on the grill for 8 to 10 minutes over medium heat or until the cheese is melted and bubbly.

Tony "Fatso" Siciliano is the host of "On the Grill Radio" from 3 to 5 p.m. Saturdays on WFLA, 970 AM. For information, go to www.onthegrillradio.com.

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