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We Need Organization For People Who Can't Retire

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By ANNETTE CLIFFORD

The Tampa Tribune

Published: July 27, 2008

Dear AARP:

Thank you for your invitation, which showed up in the mailbox shortly after my 50th birthday.

I would love to join your group, but don't need to belong to an association for retired persons.

What I need to belong to is an association for people who can never retire.

Do you perhaps have a branch like that? If not, you should think of starting one, because I'm not alone.

I belong to that growing percentage of baby boomers who failed to plan wisely for retirement and won't be able to quit working until the grim reaper calls.

Looking back, I realize I made bad choices. I should have chosen a field, such as government work, that offers a pension.

I shouldn't have stayed home to raise kids 15 years, which impacted my earnings' potential. Who knew that family values came with a steep price tag?

Still, I should have saved more, been more ambitious. And married a different guy.

Unfortunately, I really liked the guy I got, and staying home with the kids was the right thing to do, in my case.

Fewer and fewer fields offer pensions anyway. And companies everywhere are slashing retirement benefits.

Even the U.S. Postal Service is trying to privatize and outsource, to cut expenses like pension funds.

And even if I had done all those smart things starting 30 years ago, it's unlikely my husband and I would have been able to save the hundreds of thousands they say we'll need just to cover medical expenses in retirement, over and beyond Medicare, which is almost broke, besides saving enough for day-to-day expenses, such as the occasional meal.

Experts who used to say you'd need 75 percent of pre-retirement income to live comfortably in retirement are upping that to 100 percent or more because of rising health and living costs and the housing downturn.

But enough poor-mouthing.

If old age brings strapped finances, we'll just have to become creative.

That's why I'd like to see an organization for folks like us, so we can pool resources and know-how to make it through the golden years on a wish and a prayer.

How about the Association for Persons Unable to Quit - or APUQ?

The acronym sounds like someone experiencing the gag reflex, which approximates the way many of us who planned so poorly for retirement now feel.

You could publish a newsletter with articles helpful for those who must make do on less than what's needed to survive.

Suggestions:

Under the bridge: A guide to the best free summer living spots in the Southern states.

RX rebels: Cutting edge tools for halving or quartering your pills, and where to steal them.

Reverse mortgage revolution: Beating the bank at end game.

Grazing for grub: Common edible plants along America's roadways.

Moving in with kin: Etiquette tips on becoming the crazy aunt in the attic.

Don't get me wrong. I have no problem working hard for as long as my pins are able to hold me up.

Are plastic bags OK?

Welcome to Wal-Mart!

Would you like fries with that?

Any of these jobs will do.

But will employers let a 75- or 80-year-old do them? And will the minimal wages they offer be enough to keep me off the streets?

My hope is that APUQ can help find answers to those questions.

Membership should, of course, be free.

Annette Clifford writes a parenting column for Florida Today.

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