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And Now To Peel Back The Naked Truth About Caliente Resorts

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Daniel Ruth

The Tampa Tribune

Published: July 27, 2008

If nothing (a word term used advisedly here) else, you have to admit Angye Fox is the kind of lass who will literally give you the shirt off her back.

After a recent column about an ongoing, or perhaps on-offing, brouhaha involving the clothing-optional Caliente Resorts and a proposal to join loins with a swingers group, Fox, the nudist colony's public relations flack, contacted this space.

The column had recalled a time many years ago when I unwittingly found myself in the middle of the Lake Como nudist enclave, which resulted in spending a great deal of time admiring the ceiling.

"I'd like to invite you as my guest to check out the ceilings at Caliente," wrote Fox.

In response, I gently suggested to Fox that I rather doubted the Azalea of Athens would take kindly to having her husband cavorting about a nudist camp, which was merging with a bunch of ha-cha-cha-cha types.

"We don't allow single men," Fox replied, adding that if I were to take advantage of her invitation, the Sunflower of Sparta would have to come along as well.

Uh-uh, I explained to Fox, that was about as likely to occur as the Marigold of Macy's celebrating the Ottoman Empire.

Gimme Some Skin ... Um, Let Me Rephrase

The Caliente column also inspired a few other beloved readers to weigh in.

"Can't be any worse than seeing bicyclist wannabees who look like the Michelin tire man stuffed into Lance Armstrong spandex, and Pillsbury dough-women walking around the beach in bikinis," pondered pacfandave.

Cyndiann, who apparently knows more about this stuff than I do, noted: "If the swingers could keep their play weekends to themselves there would be no problem.

"The problem is that several times the swingers got carried away as swingers are wont to do and were doing it in the pool with people all around," Cyndiann wrote.

I think we need a good, strong, no-nonsense harrumph here.

Harrumph! There, it needed to be said.

That got justastrue's dander up (bad word choice perhaps). "We haven't seen any sexual activity in any of the pools ... over the past four months." Whew! That's a relief.

"There are hugs and kisses and booty slapping, but nothing sexual and nothing different than you would see at your local bar or club," justastrue wrote.

Booty slapping?! I don't think this sort of thing goes on at the University Club, but then again I get invited there about as often as Barry Bonds gets invited over to Bud Selig's house for dinner.

Lastly, on this topic at least, getoveryourbigself (doesn't that sound like the name for a race horse?) contributed this terrifying imagery: "Keep up the great work, we'll continue to be avid fans of your columns. Just don't dwell on the fact we read the paper nude - just look up at the ceiling."

Between A Barack And A Hard Case

And here's the best part. We've gotten this deep into the column without having to mention Confederate flag lawn jockey Bart Siegel.

Speaking of chumps, poor Siegel, who claims to belong to the mother of all pocket protector clubs, Mensa, and a few other denizens of the e-mail propaganda ether have been attempting to pass along a phony story purportedly from a soldier serving in Afghanistan claiming that Sen. Barack Obama blew off shaking hands with our men and women in uniform while on a recent visit to Bagram Air Force Base.

It's all a load of phooey and has been widely debunked.

Log on to the Snopes.com Web site to read more.

For his part, after being exposed for being played like a rube, Siegel agreed to send a follow-up e-mail admitting he was wrong.

After all, since the whole purpose of Obama's visit was to meet and greet members of the military; it would defy common sense to fly half way around the world only to ignore them.

Duh.

Finally, Florri Dakoff of Holiday had a reaction to a blog item on the recent flap over The New Yorker magazine cover cartoon caricaturing the myriad of myths surrounding Obama and his wife, Michelle.

"Right on Daniel!!!" Dakoff wrote. "We have evolved into a humorless, illiterate society perhaps emulating our Worst President Ever. I thought it the cover was great and I am an Obama supporter."

Yes, but has he ever refused to shake hands with you?

And if he has, whatever you do, don't tell Bart Siegel.

Keyword: Book of Ruth, to read and comment on Daniel Ruth's blog.

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