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Give Cobb License To Serve God

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By TOM JACKSON

The Tampa Tribune

Published: June 10, 2008

WESLEY CHAPEL - In the matter of Cobb Theaters versus Faith Baptist Church, a phrase immediately leaps to mind and, no, that phrase is not, "A pox on both your houses."

Instead, it's our old pal, "the law of unintended consequences," the inevitable undesirable guest who invades, makes trouble and overstays whenever simple systems (government, often) attempt to regulate complex systems (in this case, land use, market principles, profit motives and lifestyle options).

As the 16-screen multiplex lurches toward belated completion, central Pasco would be bracing for a jewel-encrusted, red-carpeted, champagne-sloshing searchlight-illuminated opening night to remember but for one wrinkle: an ancient county ordinance prohibiting sales of alcohol within 1,000 feet of churches, schools or public parks.

Cobb envisions expanding its tantalizing "CineBistro" at The Grove at Wesley Chapel, peddling alcoholic beverages and upscale dining in mezzanine restaurants within its theaters. But the developer shoehorned the theater's footprint into an exclusionary zone established when Faith Baptist Church and Academy opened its doors at the elbow of Oakley Boulevard 10 years ago.

Tales Of The Dead-Heading Crow

The structures are 827.5 feet apart, an intrusion that is neither fudging room nor rounding error. It's a miss by nearly one-fifth.

Not that you would guess by gazing out either's back door; between these uneasy neighbors are fences, an apartment complex and a pine grove from which the Faith campus was carved. An unobstructed path from box office to narthex covers about a half-mile, but the controlling ordinance, instead, evokes references to the efficient navigational patterns of the proverbial crow. They're close. Too close. Perhaps Cobb could agree not to serve alcohol to likely airborne patrons.

Some critics would like the folks of Faith to mind their own business. But seeing to it that the county follow its laws, or know the reason why, is their business. Ours, too.

A Modest Proposal
Absent the grit to undo or modify their predecessors' work, subsequent county boards have rendered the ordinance meaningless by application of serial waivers. It amounts to the same thing, with extra paperwork. Call it the "More Billable Hours for Attorneys" law.

The planning commission probably will set those wheels in motion again Wednesday, with merit. Nearby, The Grove's village of small storefronts will include several restaurants outside Faith's radius of influence. They will serve beer, wine and spirits, and, just like moviegoers, many patrons will use the exit road nearest the church - a point of worry to the faithful.

In that light, refusing Cobb places an almost arbitrary limitation on its ability to woo customers - not to mention that the theater and church/school would operate on largely alternate schedules. The momentum plainly is on the side of the theater owner.

The folks of Faith should seize this fading opportunity, before the gavel comes down and their negotiating stance is gone, to make nice. Announce the church will rescind its objection in exchange for an annual stipend - $24,000 (two grand a month) rings nicely - that Faith will invest in an anti-addiction (alcohol, gambling, pornography) ministry.

A bribe? Don't be silly. Put it in the category of rendering unto God.

Tom Jackson can be reached at (813) 948-4219.

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