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I Learned To Say 'No, Thanks' Without Feeling Guilty

Family photo; Tribune photo by VICTOR JUNCO

Maria Martinez ''was on the right path until life threw me a series of low balls.''

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: June 13, 2008

Maria Martinez, 44, Land O'Lakes

Height: 5 feet

Starting weight: 134

Current weight: 120

Why I did it: I was an overweight child and chubby teenager compared to other girls my age. In fact, I had a very thin sister and even my mother was in better shape than me. Needless to say I always felt like the ugly duckling.

When I turned 22, I decided to take action and I began to exercise. Over time, my body image changed and my self-esteem grew. I worked really hard to get and to keep my "new me" image. It demanded my total commitment but I was ready for the challenge. At that time, I promised myself I wouldn't let expected changes, such as marriage or having kids, throw me off balance. My mantra was "I will not turn 40 being overweight."

I became a fixture at several local fitness clubs. I exercised so hard I currently have a few injured joints to prove it. In addition, a healthy diet was required as a result of my physical activity. This allowed me to be in control of my weight for a long period of time. I was on the right path until life threw me a series of low balls. First came marriage and relocation to this country, then other adjustments to every aspect of my life. With all this came weight fluctuations.

I gained and lost weight a few times, but when my husband was diagnosed with cancer, I really lost it. After his treatment and recuperation, I was left with some extra pounds, which accentuated deep feelings of depression and loneliness. It seemed the weight had settled in. I tried to go back to exercise and diet without success.

How I did it: Having reached 40, I tried to convince myself that it was a matter of aging: my metabolism was slower; I shouldn't be so vain; I wasn't terribly overweight and I should accept the changes. Although 12 pounds don't seem like a lot to lose, it is a heavy load for 5-foot-tall woman. Finally, I skeptically followed a co-worker to Weight Watchers.

The first thing I loved about Weight Watchers is that it was a place to meet and talk to other people who turn to food for comfort. I rediscovered that a healthy weight leads to a better life, and that I had the power to make it happen. Words can't express how it felt to get back into the drivers seat!

I discovered it is possible to be in control while living life to the fullest and that includes enjoying food. In addition, it brought many positive changes at home as my dear husband decided to eat as I do, losing 3 sizes and becoming a great supporter.

Now health comes before looks; and joining my husband for coffee and morning news comes before my previous early-morning workouts. I believe my self-esteem isn't dependent on the way I look. However, keeping my old promise to be 40 and NOT overweight is noticeable. I feel confident and empowered

Hurdles: I had a few bad weeks where I lost very little or no weight. I used to get frustrated because I felt as if I was failing and this would make me overeat. So I started focusing more on my actions and less on the scale. I started changing some behaviors and the scale started moving.

Going the distance: It was a big deal when I was awarded a Weight Watchers lifetime membership. Meetings have been the backbone of my weight loss: they keep me on track. Currently, I have to lead by example: as the leader of our Spanish meeting in Tampa, I get to share with my members and help them discover how they can lose and maintain a healthy weight.

Best advice: For Hispanics, dealing with family and friends is very hard. We tend to be very gregarious and our get-togethers usually revolve around our culinary heritage. People offer you food as a way to show their hospitality and love. How could you refuse without offending them? One of the most important things I learned is that I don't "have to" eat all the available food at once. I learned to control my portions while still enjoying my favorite dishes and learned to say "No, thanks" without feeling guilty for not eating a second serving.

Keyword: Lost It, to tell us about a weight-loss plan that works for you. Or send your story to mshedden@tampatrib.com or Mary Shedden, The Tampa Tribune, 200 S. Parker St., Tampa FL 33606.

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