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Black Family Reunions Are Transcendent

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By IMANI ASUKILE

Tribune Correspondent

Published: June 13, 2008

Between Memorial Day and Labor Day is the most popular time for family reunions in the black community. Many families will gather to celebrate life, express thanks to the creator, learn something new, showcase talents and, most of all, unify. The color-coordinated T-shirts worn during these celebrations symbolize unity, togetherness. The reunion transcends religion, political persuasions, skin complexions, gender, geography and socioeconomic status.

The descendants of the late Rachel Bates and husband James Barker are readying for the 72nd annual Bates-Ingram family reunion this weekend in Newark, N.J. This gathering dates back before the late-'70s, when the "Roots" TV miniseries stimulated a renewed interest in family gatherings. The Bates-Ingram reunion started as a simple backyard cookout on July 4, 1936. Today, the events are held in hotels, theme parks, cruise ships and other destinations.

More than 300 family members from the Northeast and the South are expected to attend, including a couple of dozen from Pasco County. In years past, the reunion has been held in Virginia, Georgia, Philadelphia and Tampa and will move to Fort Lauderdale, Washington and Tampa in the coming years. It starts off with an ice-breaker Friday, a picnic and banquet on Saturday and breakfast and church Sunday. I'm sure a few will visit the casinos, too.

Even though the reunion celebrates life, paying respect to ancestors always plays a big part in the celebration. At one time not so long ago, the death of loved ones was the most likely cause for family gatherings. This reunion is about connecting to the past and to the present. The Bates-Ingram family has published a little of its history in a souvenir journal. Other reunions have incorporated a libation statement, an African expression of prayer that offers thanks for the legacy of ancestors. People are given an opportunity to call out the names of deceased loved ones; the deceased's contributions may be highlighted, and water is poured on a plant in the four directions of the wind.

Lacoochee is represented on the Bates side of the family. Rachel Bates was born on April 9, 1919, to Joseph and Ellen Bates in Allendale, S.C. She met and married James Barker of Beech Island, S.C., about 1936. This was the time when millions of blacks were migrating north in search of an economic and social promised land. In the late-1930s, though, instead of catching a ride north, James and Rachel moved deeper into the heart of Dixie, to Lacoochee. Both found work at the Cummer and Sons Saw Mill.

Connecting with the past is one of the things Brenda Joyce Barker enjoys most about the family reunions.

"Each year, I meet someone new, learning about my fore-parents and realizing that all the family members were taught the same Christian principal of personal and social responsibility. I get to piece together who I am at the reunion."

Family friends are welcome to attend. Lillie Wormack and her daughters, Brenda and Constance, have traveled with the reunion from city to city for the past seven years. They are like family. The Wormacks also have a couple of their own reunions to attend.

Children get affirmation at these gatherings. They realize they belong to a community much larger than the family they live with. For the weekend, everyone is one family. The individualism is canned for the good of the overall family. People sleep several to a room to accommodate each other and make the reunion work. Communalism is a big part of what makes reunions successful. Everyone has to give and take a little.

If children are the future of the family, elders are the quality control inspectors of these events. Their voices set the tone for conduct, and they teach about learning to love and respect one another. They look forward to the reunions, and some put their fragile health in jeopardy during the frantically paced events. Going to the reunions ranks up there with going to church in terms of what's important to the elders.

In the old days, before blacks had access to modern accommodations, reunions were held at Masonic halls, public ponds and similar venues. They were mostly one-day events.

They required skills. Men had to know how to build a fire. Of course, this was before all of the gas cookers. Fish was cooked in a big black pot. You had to be careful how you handled the pot because it was full of smut. Homemade ice cream was the treat then. Everyone got a chance to help make the ice cream by turning the spinner. In the South, segregation made blacks more unified. They did not have access to public lodging or recreational facilities with swimming pools. Children swam in the lakes.

The black family reunion is a best practice. The family is resilient, adaptable to change, and it is everlasting. The more that it is attacked and critiqued, the more it continues to produce some of the world's greatest citizens. It's a mistake to give up on the family.

Imani Asukile, a Hernando County native, is a longtime Dade City resident and one of the founders of the African American Heritage Society of East Pasco. His column appears every other Friday. To suggest a column, e-mail idasukile@yahoo.com.

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