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How Silly Signs Originate

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: June 20, 2008

On a boardwalk in the wild Corkscrew Swamp Sanctuary, a visitor recently stepped on a slick spot of something, possibly bird droppings, and slipped and fell. She got up and filed a lawsuit against the National Audubon Society, owner of the sanctuary east of Naples.

The conservation group is alleged to have been inattentive to its wooden walkway and negligent in warning birdwatchers that thoughtless birds may leave their deposits in places potentially hazardous to human pedestrians.

Regular pressure washing of the boardwalk that extends into a marsh and a soggy cypress forest would frighten away all wildlife and leave visitors nothing to see except trees and swamp water. And a warning sign would present its own challenges, such as how to cover all possible surprises.

Some suggestions:

Corkscrew is a local name for a group of cypress trees. Do not expect a wine-tasting party.

During a thunderstorm, lightning may strike.

Alligators here are not mechanical.

Watch where you step and if you look up, keep your mouth closed.

Excretions happen.

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