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Life With A Moniker That's More Than A Mouthful

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By CHINONYE ONWUNLI

The Tampa Tribune

Published: June 26, 2008

The Social Security Administration recently updated their list of the most popular names for the year. It included such favorites as Emily and Elizabeth, and names I didn't know were popular, such as Hannah and Ava.

The list reminds me of a time when I wanted a name like that, a popular name.

I wanted a name I could find on those personalized souvenirs at theme parks, a common name, a name that didn't make people scrunch their faces when trying to pronounce it.

Once I tried to change my name to Maya - the name of a cartoon character I liked when I was 6 years old and the name of a popular girl in my first-grade class. When I brought my books and art projects home from day camp that summer, my mother questioned why "Maya" was written on them all. I pretended they were someone else's, but she saw through me.

When people would say, "That's unusual," I believed they meant I was unusual. And no one wants to be unusual as a child.

There are lots of drawbacks to having an unusual name. The first day of school was always dreadful. The teacher would take a long pause when she reached the midway of the alphabet. Once my fourth-grade teacher said, "Why would your mother name you that?" I wasn't good at witty responses at nine years old. And the sound of laughter from my classmates took me back.

Then comes graduation, when someone calls out the names of those ready to receive their diplomas. Recently my cousin graduated from pharmacy school and my whole family showed up to cheer for her. But she crossed the stage before we knew it. The announced name was so mangled, it was completely unrecognizable to us all.

It hurts a little each time. This is supposed to be your great moment, but no one took the time to say your name right. Instead you feel as though you deserve the disappointment because your name is unusual.

There also are the everyday hassles of not getting my sandwich at the deli because they refuse to say my name on the intercom. My name is frequently misspelled on important documents. I often hear, "Can I call you (fill in the blank with something short, sweet and common?)." It took years, but I have learned to say no.

Now that I'm older I see that changing my name may have hurt my mother. As young foreign students struggling in a country far from their home, my parents named me, their first child, Chinonyerem, which means "God be with me" in the Igbo language. It was like a living prayer at a time when things were so hard for them.

My name is my connection to my heritage. It's definitely a conversation starter. But it's part of who I am. Experiences that have shaped me stem from issues related to my name.

So I'm glad I'm not Maya. Common names may be popular, but unusual names can connote something special.

I am special and with a name like Chinonyerem, I'm reminded every day.

Chinonye Onwunli is a doctoral student in political science.

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