TBO.com - TBO is Tampa Bay Online

A Wise Man Knows When To Run Away

ADVERTISEMENT

By Daniel Ruth

The Tampa Tribune

Published: March 18, 2008

For all you budding, glad-handing, aspiring trough feeders, let this be a sobering lesson.

Let's say you are a prominent judge. One night you find yourself at a local watering hole, catering to the town's beautiful people on the make.

Sitting there at the bar is a very comely lass. You start chatting. Visions of the limo coo-coo-ca-choo scene between Kevin Costner and Sean Young from "No Way Out" waft through your libido.

Things are progressing nicely, and then you discover this vision of erotic loveliness you are about to get all steamy with is - a stripper.

It is axiomatic that "Judge" and "Stripper" showing up in a headline is never a good thing, especially if you happen to be the "Judge."

On that night at the old Malio's, Judge Thomas Stringer had two options as he no doubt discussed the national debt, the North American Free Trade Agreement and the Middle East situation with Christy Yamanaka, otherwise known as the "stripper."

A Sack Of Anvils

The judge could sit there with the fetching Ms. Yamanaka, which is Japanese for "stripper," and let the chips, not to mention the unmentionables, fall where they may.

Or Stringer, a learned man, a widely respected man, could size the situation up and say to himself, "Sure, she's awfully sexy, but considering she's a stripper and I'm a judge, something tells me no good can come from this. I'd better - RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!"

Alas, Stringer stayed put on his barstool, and right about now he has to be thinking, "I must have had a sack of anvils dropped on my head." Yes, as a matter of fact, your honor, you did.

You could make a case that the last time a relationship worked out between some schmo and a stripper, it was 1957 and even then it was in the movies, "Pal Joey," when Frank Sinatra and Kim Novak found love in a time of pasties.

As a result of his "friendship" with Yamanaka, Stringer has become embroiled a complex web of financial dealings with the stripper, involving the purchase of Hawaiian real estate, shared bank accounts, and a string of court judgments against her totaling almost $315,000.

Barbie Doll

Put another way, it would appear when it comes to credit ratings, Christy Yamanaka is the Barbie Doll of Bankruptcy.

Now the stripper is suing the judge, claiming he owes her money. And questions have been raised over the propriety of a judge entering into dubious banking arrangements with, well, STRIPPERS with the all credit history of the Joad family!!!!

Is there a legal term for - Duh! Ipso Facto Dufus?

Is it a personal and professional tragedy that Thomas Stringer would have to be burdened with this sort of public humiliation? Absolutely.

But it all could have been avoided if on the night long ago, the judge had simply said to the stripper, "Nice to meet you. I gotta go - now."

Or put another way, you are the governor of New York. You are feeling randy. You see an ad for something called "The Emperor's Club."

It occurs to you that the words "Governor" and "Hooker" do not compliment each other in a headline. Do you reach for the phone? Or do you run away?

Keyword: Book of Ruth, to read and comment on Daniel Ruth's blog.

Share this:

Loading Comments...

Email Print

ADVERTISEMENT