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Mother's Day Should Be A Time To Reflect On Issues Affecting Women
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Published: May 11, 2008
The celebration of Mother's Day allows a chance to reflect on the challenges facing many women today juggling work, raising children and maintaining a household. Many families will celebrate the day with flowers, dinners and other tokens of appreciation. It should be a day filled with love and admiration for mothers everywhere, who all too often must overcome men's folly.
But for many, Mother's Day may not be all flowers and dinners. Our burgeoning population of single moms, plus divorced and abandoned ones, may leave the celebration to offspring. The working or welfare mom may rely on appreciative children or friends to celebrate. Such merriment may be a simple hug, a thank you, or children preparing dinner and cleaning up.
Mother's Day may offer the opportunity to reflect on two issues facing women in our community: domestic violence and sexual assault.
One out of three women will be victims of domestic violence in their lifetime. This somber statistic continues to plague American communities. In 2006, there were 272,350 victims of rape, attempted rape or sexual assault nationally. Sixty-seven percent of victims were under the age of 18. Thirty-four percent of all victims were under 12. Victims under 12 are counted separately and not included in the 272,350 victims.
Rapes Up In Pasco County
The state of Florida reported a total of 11,567 forcible sex offenses in 2006. This represents a 5.4 percent reduction from 2005. Pasco County noted a total of 184 forcible sex offenses, up 1.7 percent from the previous year.
As of June 2007, there were 156.6 registered sex offenders and predators per 100,000 people in Pasco County, compared with 121.2 for the state. Pasco retains its dubious distinction of being a violent community both in child abuse and domestic violence.
Sexual assault and domestic violence are overwhelmingly crimes against women. What better holiday than Mother's Day to reflect on the many ways to improve safety and respect for all women.
More recently, efforts to curb violence have extended beyond issues of safety for victims. Attention to men by exposing and addressing sexist behavior is critical to thwarting violence against women. Rehabilitation and alternatives to abuse are key to reuniting families in a safe and loving environment. However, a woman's well-being must always be the first priority.
Where Men Fit In
What can men do?
•Be aware of language. Making demeaning comments like "whore" and using other inappropriate names sends a message that women are less than human or have no rights. Good communication, particularly about sex among partners, defuses misunderstandings and reduces the risk of rape.
•Speak up when you hear comments or see actions that denigrate women. Demand that educators include women's safety issues at school, police are trained and sensitive to abuse and adequate community services are available to victims of violence.
•Support survivors of rape. Be sensitive to their anguish and violation. It may be a loved one who feels guilty, tainted or worthless. The victim is blameless and must have ongoing support.
•Contribute time and money. Know who provides services to victims in your community and support them; volunteer your time and support fundraisers. Their efforts save lives and sometimes help bring families together.
•Talk with women. Ask about their fears, how they want to be supported if they are a victim. Do they feel in danger? Become sensitive to the issue and become an advocate against abuse in any form, to anyone.
•Talk with men. Understand your own values; compare them to others'. Learn how sexual violence touches the lives of men and what is necessary to stop it. Ten percent to 20 percent of all males will be sexually abused in their lifetime.
•Organize. Anti-rape groups are becoming more common around the country, especially on college campuses. These groups can have tremendous community impact.
•Work to end other oppressions. Rape relates to many forms of sociopathic behavior that include racism, homophobia and religious discrimination. By exposing and correcting conduct that undermines environmental justice, equity, or fosters violence and hate, we improve our communities and the quality of life for residents.
•Don't ever have sex with anyone against their will. No means no!
Mother's Day is an excellent time to reflect on women. I lost my mother a few years back. I regret that it took her death for me to fully appreciate her value.
Perhaps this Mother's Day I will reflect on my spouse. I have been less than sensitive to her sacrifices on my behalf and must better appreciate the fantastic mother she has been to our children.
Mother's Day must be more than flowers and dinner; it must also be a day of reflection and rebirth. Whether married or single, working or on welfare, a victim of violence or enjoying more privilege, Mother's Day is "women's day" - a time to consider ways to right wrongs.
The writer, who lives in Hudson, is a physician and former Pasco County Health Department director.
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