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It's A Pity There Aren't 2 More Cells
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Published: May 13, 2008
As he sits in the Pinellas County Jail for the next several months, young Nick Bollea no doubt may well attribute his predicament to the fact that he is to driving a car what Rudy Giuliani was to running for president of the United States.
Hapless. Incompetent. Arrogant.
Although no judge or prosecutor would ever admit to this, it is probably fair to say Bollea is also serving an intangible concurrent jail term for simply being a complete, unmitigated redneck boob.
Alas, it is a trait that comes all too naturally.
The Speed Racer from hell was hauled off to the hoosegow late last week by Pinellas-Pasco Circuit Judge Philip Federico for his role in August's car wreck that left Marine and Iraq War veteran John Graziano in a brain-damaged, semiconscious state.
In addition to an eight-month jail sentence, the son of phony wrestler Hulk Hogan will serve five years on probation, five years of alcohol restriction and 500 hours of community service. He also won't have his driver's license for three years.
Life Sentence
Oh, and then there's this, too. Nick Bollea has been sentenced to a lifetime of knowledge that he is responsible for Graziano's mental imprisonment. No parole. No pardon. No commutation.
Or at least it would be nice to think so.
During his sentencing hearing before Federico last week, members of Graziano's family noted how, on his visits to the hospital to visit his stricken friend, showing all the sensitivity of a geek show tout, young Bollea skateboarded through the hallways and shot off toy guns.
Not to put too fine a psychological point on this, but when your entire life is wrapped around having a jughead father who has made millions pretending to be some faux macho hero to the gun-rack/dentally challenged crowd by engaging in over-the-top cartoon violence where everybody always manages to survive phony beatings, perhaps young Bollea convinced himself John Graziano, too, would awaken from his coma bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
The Macbeths?
And why not? This slack-jawed lad had been enabled by dopey dysfunctional parents who made the Macbeths seem like Ward and June Cleaver.
Be it figuratively extending a middle finger to a Florida Highway Patrol officer who dubiously gave young Bollea a break for speeding on Alligator Alley while his father was in the car, only to violate the speed limit minutes later, this scion of stupidity lived a charmed life of privilege and excuses for cheesy behavior - until Aug. 26.
If there were true justice, Hulk Hogan and his estranged wife, Linda, would be doing the same amount of time in the slammer as the ne'er-do-well son they created.
Gracious, ever declassee, Hogan wore his "formal" black do-rag to his son's sentencing last week and both the judge and the bailiffs let him get away with the show of disrespect for the court.
Memo to Hulk Hogan: You're bald, get over it. Take off the goofy rag.
If there is a silver lining to young Nick Bollea's circumstances, perhaps it is this: For the next eight months at least, this twerp will get to mingle with a better class of people.
Keyword: Book of Ruth, to read and comment on Daniel Ruth's blog.
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Reader Comments
Posted by ( Bryan1998 ) on May 13, 2008 at 12:29 a.m. ( Suggest removal )
Daniel, It's a pity there isn't a third cell to put you for writing this wretched hate-filled trash. Is this what passes for journalism in Tampa?
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Posted by ( pacfandave ) on May 13, 2008 at 7:13 a.m. ( Suggest removal )
At the risk of incurring the wrath of Dan, I must point out that Hulk, Jr, was a juvenile when the incident happened, and his pax was an adult who not only knew of his need for speed but in fact shared it. The Marine's presence in the vehicle at the very least reinforced the young Hulkster's behavior. We'll never know if he either encouraged it or tried to discourage it. None of this was or should have been relevant in court, but it should certainly have import in the civil suit, where the defense will surely make the point that the adult was, by his very presence, contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
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Posted by ( alneri ) on May 13, 2008 at 10 a.m. ( Suggest removal )
Who cares about incurring the wrath of Dan - this column was the same formularic piffle he writes about many who have made it on their own and then had trouble. I wonder what happened to last week's diatribe against his former co-worker Stephanie Ragusa? I notice it is not posted and suspect the Trib lawyers buried that one. Maybe the Trib should examine their policy on background checks.
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Posted by ( Shuffle1 ) on May 13, 2008 at 12:29 p.m. ( Suggest removal )
This time you've gone too far. It's the kinda commentary that creates thoughts of racism, segregation, elitism, division, separatism, I'm better than you 'ism, and so on. What gives you the rigtht to decide if these are/were good parents? What gives youthe right to decide how the way one dresses is good or bad or otherwise? We all have opinions and I have mine, but to express an opinion based on simple appearance is flat wrong and un-called for in any way shape or form. Itcertainly is a pity that this happened at all, not only for the Graziano family but for the Bollea family as well. It appears it was the fault of the driver but that's where it needs to end. Not blaming the parents, their dress codes, way of life, or anything else - fault lies with one individual, anything else is speculation and here youy are only making inflammatory remarks that have no basis 'cept your personal prejudice.
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Posted by ( Shuffle1 ) on May 13, 2008 at 12:35 p.m. ( Suggest removal )
This time you've gone too far. It's the kinda commentary that creates thoughts of racism, segregation, elitism, division, separatism, I'm better than you 'ism, and so on. What gives you the rigtht to decide if these are/were good parents? What gives you the right to decide how one dresses is good or bad or otherwise? We all have opinions and I have mine, but to express an opinion based on simple appearance is flat wrong and un-called for in any way shape or form. It certainly is a pity that this happened at all, not only for the Graziano family but for the Bollea family as well. It certainly appears it was the fault of the driver but that's where it needs to end. Blaming the parents, their dress codes, way of life, or anything else is wrong - the fault lies with one individual, anything else is speculation and here you are only making inflammatory remarks that have no basis 'cept your personal prejudice.
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Posted by ( dabone08 ) on May 13, 2008 at 4:04 p.m. ( Suggest removal )
Daniel Ruth, I grew up watching Hogan and I have a great set of teeth, have a better education than you, and make a hell of a lot more money than you. This was the worst article I have read in some time. You sir, are a piece of garbage. Do the world a favor, go flush yourself down the commode. You should be fired for this poorly written article. A monkey could write something better. If I were Hogan, I would choke you out if I saw you around the Tampa area.
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Posted by ( JLJ ) on May 13, 2008 at 9:54 p.m. ( Suggest removal )
Wow -I can't believe the animosity out there just because Dan tells the truth! I'm sure most of the detractors here believe wrestling and NASCAR are real and are big fans of both.
OK - just kidding about the NASCAR part.
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Posted by ( FineDesign ) on May 14, 2008 at 9:36 a.m. ( Suggest removal )
It is absolutely absurd that a publication of this status would allow Daniel Ruth represent it. Makes me think twice about the quality of the information within. On that note, what do you do for entertainment, JLJ?
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Posted by ( Seer ) on May 14, 2008 at 10:43 a.m. ( Suggest removal )
Hulk wore his black dorag to court for
religious reasons. He is an observant member of the First Church of Stupidity.
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Posted by ( dabone08 ) on May 14, 2008 at 11:18 a.m. ( Suggest removal )
JLJ, I know more of the inner workings of the wrestling business than anyone on here will ever know. I know it is athletic scripted entertainment. NASCAR, not a big fan of it, but respect it. Who cares if Hogan wore a bandana in the courtroom, sites like TMZ will find anything to rip on a celebrity, they do that so the humanoids will feel better about themselves. TMZ tries to be funny, but they just come off unfunny and totally lame, and they do not realize it.
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Posted by ( ExNJboy ) on May 14, 2008 at 9:39 p.m. ( Suggest removal )
Here is the tragedy, for the better part of two seasons, the Bolleas were encouraged to make fools of themselves on VH1, getting rewarded and paid for being real-life sleazes. I still remember the way Linda tried to embarrass Tampa bay just because a development did not approve of her menagerie. The fact is, unlike many people, the Bolleas/Hogans are finally having to face up to the consequences of stupidity and arrogance.
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Posted by ( whasup ) on May 20, 2008 at 9:55 p.m. ( Suggest removal )
It appears the Hulkster couldn't oil the courts as well as oiled his own daughters derriere in public. I can't wait to see how SHE turns out. The fat lady has yet to sing in that family. Oh, darn, I wasn't going to mention Linda.
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