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It's Never Too Late To Ketchup On Grilling

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By TONY "FATSO" SICILIANO

Tribune correspondent

Published: May 27, 2008

I'm curious. How many of you are breathing a sigh of relief today now that another Memorial Day has come and gone without you having to fire up the grill?

That's not to say that you aren't a fan of eating food off the grill, just as long as you are not the one to prepare it.

You're probably thinking you have a free pass for about a month, then you'll have to wrangle an invitation to someone else's Fourth of July party so they can do the grilling and you get off the hook again.

You put up a strong exterior. You hide your shame well. But I know the pain and embarrassment that you suffer from. I am here to help, and any ridicule or judgment I may have for you and your lack of grilling ability, I will do behind your back.

Remember the "KISS Method" (Keep it Simple, Stupid) of grilling. You have to crawl before you walk, and you have to walk before you run. So If your fear of donning an apron and arming yourself with tongs and a spatula in front of a flaming grill is all-consuming, just keep it simple - stupid!

Don't start off with steaks. Leave the fish at the grocery store. Forget about pork or chicken. Those delicious cuts of meat will be waiting for you when we build up your confidence and conquer your fears.

What's left? Hamburgers and hot dogs, of course! It is not my intention to overwhelm you by cooking up two kinds of meat products, so, in the spirit of keeping it simple, let's stick to hot dogs.

Also known as frankfurters or franks, hot dogs were named in honor of Frankfurt, Germany, the city where sausages in a bun originated. However, a good grilled hot dog is about as American as you can get. The best part about hot dogs, especially on the grill, is that they are almost impossible to completely screw up.

The packaged hot dogs we buy in grocery stores are pre-cooked. All you literally have to do is heat them up. So let's get going.

First of all, you need a grill. I realize that if you have long-harbored fears of your lack of grilling ability, you may not own a grill. So please put this article down. Look at some of the advertisements for barbecue grills that are on sale this week; buy one, and then continue reading. I will wait.

Welcome back.

The key to remember with hot dogs is to not overcook them so badly that they resemble charcoal. You have a lot of room for error, but here are some tips to follow to ensure perfection, (even on your first try).

Preheat your grill to medium heat, not high heat. Don't let your impatience defeat you. If your heat is too high, you run a much greater risk of scorching the dogs. Remember, all you are trying to do is heat the hot dog, not cremate it.

When you place your dogs on your cooking grate, lay them parallel to the bars. As you might know already, hot dogs are round in shape, and if they are laying perpendicular to the bars on your grill grate they have a tendency to roll off of the grill and onto the floor. Trust me, I have lost my fair share of dogs this way.

Finally, use your tongs to keep the dogs moving on the grill. Flip the dogs often to avoid too much heat on one side of the dog.

As the hot dog cooks, the color will deepen, it will begin to sweat, and you will see some grill marks. Every once in a while, you will have a guest who wants one that is charred, but that person is the exception, not the rule.

Have plenty of buns standing by, and as far as condiments go, the sky is the limit.

So this year, instead of angling for an invite to another person's party, have your own. Practice now, and by the Fourth of July, you will be a hot dog master.

Before long, you will be venturing into the exciting world of grilling burgers. Then you can move to chicken breasts. Soon after that, pork chops. Before you know it, you will be slapping bacon-wrapped filet mignons and serving it with a red wine reduction sauce.

But it all starts with a crawl, or in this case hot dogs.

If you really want to surprise your friends, serve your hot dogs with my recipe for homemade ketchup. If you want, you can take my name off the recipe and put yours on and tell them you have been making it for years.

TONY FATSO'S HOMEMADE KETCHUP

1 small can of tomato paste

1/2 cup water

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 teaspoon of prepared yellow mustard

1 teaspoon of onion powder

1/2 teaspoon of garlic powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

A pinch of cumin

2 tablespoons cider vinegar

Mix all of the ingredients together in a medium bowl and serve. Keep the ketchup in a covered container in the refrigerator for a week.

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