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Rays' Monikers Need Moxie

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: May 28, 2008

The Rays are finally happening. Galaxies are probably tilting. But it is also time for Joe Maddon to shed some of his California-bred sensitivity and begin to use some appropriate, meaningful nicknames for the players.

You can start with the pitching staff. How about Scott Kazmir? He is not "Kaz." He is "K." That is what he does, and does so very well.

There is Edwin Jackson. He delivers a straight-up, heated message when he gets out there. He is "The Reverend."

Andy Sonnanstine? That's a no-brainer. He even takes his analytical skills to the plate in interleague play. "Einstein."

Matt Garza might be the perfect poster child for Ritalin. I have never seen a human being spit so much. He should be known as "Goo."

James Shields makes a practice of suffocating opposing hitters. The guy is "Curtains."

As far as relievers go, there is one who has a mound presence quite unlike that of any other.

Before he starts pitching, he turns his back to home plate and squats. Troy Percival has 14 saves in 16 opportunities. You have to see him pitch once to realize that there is only one nickname for him that can possibly fit: "Jabba."

Maddon would like the Trop to become known as "The Pit." Perhaps it would be better if visiting teams come to know it as "The Woodshed."

DAVE CHERRYHOLMES

Pinellas Park

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