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Johnnie? What About Kim Jong-II?

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By DANIEL RUTH

druth@tampatrib.com

Published: November 1, 2008

It is probably a sign that things are hardly going gangbusters for your presidential campaign when your police escort is larger than the crowd of supporters who show up to cheer you on.

This had to be one of the dumber-than-a-box-of Brian-Blairs moments in this year's presidential campaign.

Republican John McCain is in the middle of a pitched battle with Democratic rival Barack Obama for Florida's 27 electoral votes. Every moment, every ballot is critical in the effort to win the state.

So what does McCain, who is quickly becoming the George Custer of modern American politics, do?

After attending a rally in Broward County, McCain, his entourage, his traveling press corps and his extensive security detail spent several hours traveling to the University of Tampa to appear at a contrived "For Your Eyes Only" national security briefing that was closed to the media, and attended by a small and somewhat bewildered invited guest list of hotsy-tot Republicans who had no earthly clue why they were there in the first place.

DOOMED!

Then, after delivering a brief - "We're all DOOMED if Barack Obama gets elected!" - statement, McCain refused to answer any questions from the press before heading back to the airport, forcing the security detail to clog up more streets.

Oh, OK, he also sat down with CNN's walking air kiss Larry King, probably just to experience a few moments with someone who played stickball with H.L. Mencken.

Who knows? Maybe this is some sort of keen political strategy on the part of the McCain camp to fly into cities and not tell any supporters, except tony, silk-stocking types like Al Austin, the Daddy Warbucks of the GOP, who are going to vote for you anyway.

In the waning days of a bitterly fought contest on the hustings, this is not exactly the moment to become more reclusive than the Unabomber.

Good grief, who organized this media-shy event at UT? Sean Penn? Thomas Pynchon? The state executioner?

AARP Photo-Op

As Obama traversed the state, appearing before massive crowds, eventually to be joined by Bill Clinton, John McCain was sitting in a UT ballroom with the shades drawn surrounded by a bunch of mostly old white guys.

Now there's an AARP photo-op for you!

What the heck were they doing in there for almost two hours? Oh, sure, the "If we told you we would have to kill you" gathering was touted as a blue-chip national security briefing by a gaggle of retired generals.

But as a presidential candidate, McCain already gets a daily national security briefing from an intelligence official who actually is currently employed in the spook business. So why would he need to displace his entire campaign apparatus to travel to Tampa to hear what he already knows?

Maybe these folks spent two hours doing the hokeypokey, or playing pinochle or watching "Patton."

After all, it's hard to believe McCain would have turned to former Florida House Speaker Johnnie Byrd (cue the shivers) and asked: "Johnnie, what do you think we ought to do about North Korean nuclear proliferation?"

Wait a minute! Maybe that's why the curtains were drawn.

We're all doomed.

Keyword: Book of Ruth, to read and comment on Daniel Ruth's blog.

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