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Channeling Good Parenting

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A recent study stating that viewing TV shows such as Friends is linked to increased risk of pregnancy.

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By DONNA KOEHN

dkoehn@tampatrib.com

Published: November 16, 2008

When my daughter was a freshman in high school, one of her teachers asked the students to use the characters from the TV show "Friends" to help understand the lesson. My daughter had to explain she'd never seen the show. What surprised me was that all the other kids had. And that the teacher was shocked my daughter had not.

It's not that I have anything against "Friends." I enjoyed the show when it aired and have watched it in reruns. I haven't banned my teens from seeing it, but it's not one of the shows we view together.

A recent study stating that viewing TV shows such as "Friends," "Sex and the City" and "That 70s Show" is linked to increased risk of pregnancy. Any research worth its salt has to rule out other factors that might cause the results. For example, were the teens who watched these shows left at home alone more often because their parents needed to work? Family income was one of the factors not considered. We all know that unsupervised teens are likely to do lots of things we might wish they wouldn't, and watching racy shows is probably one of the lesser evils.

Nevertheless, I believe that in the absence of other input, television shows that promote the idea that sex is easy and without consequences can be a cause for concern. I think it's up to us as parents to counter what they see, or at least try to explain our own moral beliefs. Believe me, I know: That's not always easy or comfortable.

My children and I are big fans of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and its spin-off "Angel." Both shows depict teenagers in a sexual way, and I knew this before we began watching them together on DVD.

In one episode, the main character has sex on her 17th birthday with a man several years older. (He also happens to be a vampire, but that's beside the point.) I strongly voiced my opinion that this was a mistake, and the outcome ended up to be terrible for the girl. Later, two mature and loving 18-year-olds had sex (before the world was supposed to end, but again, beside the point.) I thought it was a tender and meaningful moment. My daughter, 15 at the time, asked me what the difference was between my reactions-why was one OK and the other not?

That launched a long discussion in which I had a chance to explain the nuances of sexual relationships, and why I have the opinions I do.

I know not all parents are as lucky as I am to have the time to watch TV with their kids. And I happen to be fortunate to have two kids who seem to respect my opinions, even if they disagree with me. I guess my theory is that if you're not there to answer their questions - or give them answers even before they ask - something or someone else will step in, for good or ill.

Keyword: MotherLoad, to see the study, read our mommy (and daddy) blogs, join the discussion, upload your children's photos and check out resources to make your life easier.

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