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Past Grief Inspires Present Donation To Children

Hernando Today photo by BOB EAST III

John Cross and Maureen Kish arrange toys at the Brooksville Family Dollar.

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By KYLE MARTIN

Hernando Today

Published: November 19, 2008

BROOKSVILLE - One way to measure John Cross' generosity is the length of the store receipt he took away after a recent spending spree: 8 feet.

On that receipt are listed 281 toys, worth $1,600. All of the playthings are destined for a Toys for Tots donation bin.

Less tangible is the deep-rooted sense of loss that has stuck with Cross for 15 years.

In 1993, Cross cradled a newborn son in his arms. He looked like his daddy. His name was Joshua Ryan Cross.

But he was four months premature. Doctors were upfront: He's probably going to die. Cross didn't care. For 32 days, he did everything a new father could do: nurture, feed, change diapers.

"I just wish I could have taken him out to play," Cross said Tuesday.

But the complications from such an early birth were too much for Josh to overcome. Cross was by his side when he died. Josh was smiling. He seemed at peace.

Life went on. Today, Cross, 49, lives in Brooksville with his wife, Kelly, and their three children. He's the assistant manager of the Family Dollar store on Broad Street.

A recent settlement on a house that was damaged by a sinkhole provided an unexpected windfall. But before going out to buy the plasma screen TV, Cross paused and remembered some advice from a difficult time in his life.

Years ago, he was homeless on the streets of New Orleans. Hoping to quiet his rumbling stomach, Cross asked for some food from a restaurant. He was shown to a table. As he left, the owner slipped him a $100 bill, but on one condition:

"Don't let this end with you."

Those words have always haunted Cross and compelled him to give what he could. Some Christmases, he had to rely on the Salvation Army to supply his children with toys. Others he could return the favor.

But this was the first time the holidays approached with so much money in the bank account. Cross and his wife planned to donate $3,000 to their church. Then Cross got another idea:

Why not make a donation in Josh's memory?

So that's what he did. He took his three children, Brandon, 14, Aaron, 10, and Marissa, 3, to the Family Dollar and set them loose. Grab what you want, he told them.

He spent his half of the donation, but with his employee discount was able to buy an extra $100 worth of toys. It's Cross' hope that other retail stores will be inspired to pitch in and do similar donations.

As for the pain of his loss, Cross acknowledges that Josh will be in his thoughts every day. But his children, especially Marissa, help him look beyond the past and enjoy the present.

"Josh will always be in my heart," Cross said. "But (Marissa) is my heart."

Reporter Kyle Martin can be reached at 352-544-5271 or kmartin@hernandotoday.com.

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